• Evkob@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    1 year ago

    This was a really thought-provoking read.

    The gay bar in my city closed down during the pandemic, and then reopened a few months later under the same owner, but rebranded as an arcade bar. It’s definitely still an overtly queer-friendly place; gender neutral bathrooms, drag shows, sex toy bingo nights, etc… but I definitely felt more people glaring at me after the switch. Cishet gamer dudes aren’t as used to seeing AMAB people in dresses, I guess.

    I still feel safe there, but I generally feel safe in most places where I live. I do miss having a place where my queerness didn’t even merit a second thought.

    • Whiskey Pickle@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      1 year ago

      hmmm… maybe take the opportunity to both own the space and passively teach by just being you in that space. sometimes, just through normalization, one can have a much bigger influence.

      • Evkob@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I definitely agree with that sentiment, and I do everything I can to normalize queerness in my surroundings. It’s just, sometimes it’s nice to have a space where you don’t feel like you have to defend your right to exist, you know? And like I’m definitely at a point where I just don’t care about cishet people’s reactions to my existence, but not all queer people have reached that point, or even ever will.

        • 114145@beehaw.org
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          1 year ago

          Yea, safe spaces are important. Mixed spaces are great and valuable too, but safe spaces are invaluable parts of the journey for some of us as well.