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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: June 5th, 2025

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  • I’m sure different aproaches are good for different people. This is just my thoughts on the matter.

    First learn to like solitude and then be out there. Be available. The more you expose yourself, the more likely it is to happen. Don’t hunt for it, it’s generally not attractive. Sure, you don’t have to spend all your time with ‘taken’ people. But keep doing the things you like doing. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, whatever.

    I feel lucky. My wife kinda droped on me where I was not expecting it. I was not looking and i’ve never been a ladies man. The fact that I was not looking and just enjoying myself was part of her atraction for me. Obviously we talked and found out that we have shared values and think alike, before anything romantic developed. Now we are married and we are each others best friends.

    When I think about it; I find it fantastic that people find partners at all. You gotta share most of your values, be best friends, be sexually compatible and both be open to a relationship.





  • It’s a tradeoff, as you say. Use the platforms and services you are comfortable with. Sacrifice privacy/security for convenience where you must. Your needs; your choice. It’s really individual.

    Consider running both untrusted and trusted applications concurrently, where the untrusted one cound run in a sandbox, for peace of mind. Drop it once you feel you don’t need it any more.

    Self-censor in forums you don’t feel safe in.

    Consider hanging out more in places with less surveilance, if you are not comfortable.

    It’s kind of a question of reducing your foot print, not completely eliminating it. Unless you wanna be a hermit.









  • Take the initiative and reach out. He will apreciate that if he is also interested.

    “Wanna hang out at my place tonight? I have snacks and movies.”

    Give some forewarning so he has some time to hop in the shower and what not.

    If he says yes, great. If he says “how about friday?” Great. If he says “nah”, oh well.

    From your description I can’t tell if this is just about having sex and no more. Good luck though.