I wish I had thyme for this.

Average age for first time home buyer is 40 now, I believe.

If I’m going to be spending eleven dollars for a sandwimch it better be two.

Can you draw me a diagram?

I’m not watching it. Did he figure it out?

I have three local pizza places, and somehow they all suck. I’m not convinced anyone outside New York City should be making pizza, and that includes Italy.

This hot take is particularly spicy when I bring it up to my Italian Aunt.

They’re cold. I know my dog appreciates a cozy sweater after the bath (she told me), but I usually do two because the first one can sometimes be a little damp.

That usually happens when you’re working backwards from presumptive guilt to fabricate evidence.

Vagina stuff. AKA sex.

Don’t tell me you did it missionary!

Is there some problem that is bricking Switch 2?

Did you try watching Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring?

Sadly, I think the only way we get a female president is if all candidates are female. AOC vs. MTG would be a good history maker.

Proportionately, that corn was probably pretty hard to pass.

What was your most enjoyable activity?

I’m super curious about voter turnout.

3 dead, 11 injured. 3 pilots on the plane, which they haven’t confirmed dead but…

Boomers love Coke advertising. It’s nostalgia. And real actual hoarding too, Coke collectors are nuts.

That is a lot of onions.

Inadequately…inept.