

There is an argument to be made, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that there is a side to see here, that the person who was an abuser was probably suffering from gender dysmorphia and that was leading them to be so violent. This doesn’t erase or excuse their past behaviors and it doesn’t automatically generate forgiveness but it can offer an understandable reason for those violent and toxic behaviors of the past. So it is entirely possible that that person is no longer violent and toxic or at least less so. And misgendering them can feed into the cycle of anger and violence that probably dominated that person’s life.
Your focus on the second part and glazing of the first speaks volumes.