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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/oldsoulinnyc on 2023-08-07 07:34:07.
A friend from church was getting married, didn’t invite me to the wedding, but she ordered cookies as her wedding favors from my bakery and she invited me to the wedding party dinner. At the dinner she said she didn’t have a photographer. I was formerly a pro wedding photographer for 10 years. Before I could stop myself I offered to gift her my services and photograph her wedding. She tearfully and happily accepted.
Wedding day: she demanded I stay for the wedding reception intimate dinner. Her dad said his camera was better than mine and he didn’t know what I was doing there anyways. The bride complained every time I asked her to pose in beautiful natural light and said she didn’t see the point because she would never care about her wedding photos anyways. It was a weird day!
I heard nothing from her after the wedding for a few weeks - then suddenly she invited me to a Christmas party. I told her I’d bring her photos. She told me the party was cancelled 2 hours before the start, and I later learned I was actually disinvited (the party happened without me).
The bride ghosted me for 3 months after this. Then she popped up demanding her wedding photos.
BUT in those 3 months I learned she and our mutual female friends were taking / texting nasty things about me behind my back. “The only thing she’s good for is her cooking” “she only offered to photograph the wedding because she’s desperate for friends” etc.,
Then I learned the gaggle of women actually reached out to my former abuser - who’d I escaped in 2020 and moved across the country and changed my name to gain safety. My abuser did the only noble thing he’s ever done and called my actual best friend to have her warn me my “new friends were trying to sabotage me”. They told him where I was… everything. Everything.
And They did sabotage me and still do. They deliberately sabotaged two jobs I was hired for and as of recent a wholesale account I had for my bakery as of 2023. They went to my wholesaler and lied - saying I don’t have a real bakery and it’s all baked in my home kitchen.
Now! the bride is thwarting my membership at church because I still haven’t given her the photos. Seems I will get approved regardless of her efforts to sabotage after I shared these details with an elder who agrees I was betrayed/hurt.
I realized I was being bullied - badly so - and used - and deeply betrayed- so I didn’t feel the need to fulfill my obligation to her. After all her dad took photos so she has wedding photos. But AITA for not giving her the photos I took?
Not the asshole. That whole situation is just insane. You should probably also consider switching to another church and get away from them. They seem dangerous. Don’t tell them anything, just disappear. You don’t want them haunting you in your next church.
But then again, there are two sides of the coin and we only know your. Maybe there are things you have missed. Is there anyone in that group you trust and can talk to about this?