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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/throw_away_prototype on 2023-11-08 05:49:07+00:00.
In our two years in this relationship, we’ve always been working on the issue of her giving unnecessary attention to others since day one and prioritising me and this relationship, we’ve seen good progress on it until she joined a new college.
Things were going okay, but after a while, she stopped updating, texted less, and bombarded memes on Instagram while refusing to initiate a normal conversations or continue them. I agree that a new place is tough to adapt to, but her behavior was very avoidant. In retaliation, I focused on myself, maintained a healthy routine, and maintained my limited access to her. So she fought with me about it, saying that it hurt her a lot and I am not like how i used to be before to which I replied that when she did, it didn’t seem to be a big deal, but when I do it, it is.
She joined a group project where she met this guy, who initially started saying he was very annoying, which seemed harmless at the time. Now all she does is talk about him, what he did, where he went, etc. She’s a homebody; she hates going out. Now she’s roaming with them to parks, going off campus for lunch, and even planning to go for drinks, which is a setting she absolutely used to hate going to without me.
So I confronted her to see if she’s at all attracted to him, to which she replied she’s not interested; that would’ve sufficed, but then she added that half the class is hitting on him, and moreover, he might have someone to himself. Now those two reasons should be irrelevant, and the fact that she’s with me should’ve been enough reason already. It pissed me off. I eventually got around it.
But last night she mentioned that he was taunting her with chocolates and playfully fighting with her (which sounded borderline flirty the way she described it). In doing so, she stole the sweet from him, and I quote, “I held eye contact with him as I put it into my bag, and he looked into my eyes. Everyone was surprised, and you know, I usually can’t maintain eye contact, but with him, I did.” That shit broke me because she neither looks at me nor can hold eye contact with me for more than a few seconds.
So I asked her to stop talking about it, and she noticed that I was angry and then started saying “Go ahead and complain about it”. It made me realize things have gotten to the point where talking about things that hurt me or could potentially harm this relationship sounds like a complaint or a chore to her. Now all we do is fight. And it’s affecting her grades.
TL;DR:: I might be lose her cos her priorities have changed after she met new people at her new college and me trying to talk about issues that’ll affect the relationship sounds like I’m always complaining and arguing with her and i don’t know if I am with the same person anymore
Your thoughts?
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