Jesus is actually hiding under my couch right now. When I first saw him down there, I asked him what he was doing there and he said “I’m hiding from the Christians”

The boss upstairs set him up with a pocket dimension with his own utilities down there, but sometimes when it’s just him, the cats and my dog in the house he’ll come up to my room and watch me play video games.

He doesn’t like my taste in video games, he’s put off by the violence in a lot of them. But when I showed him video-essays on how “the flood” works in halo, he compared it to the bullshit megachurches are always doing, how they infect people and extort them into giving up their money.

Jesus is a really cool guy…modern day Christians on the other hand…that’s another story