Tap for context

Some woman on the internet said she would feel safer spending a night in the woods with a random bear rather than with a random man

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 months ago

      i’m just trying to figure out why this is becoming a colloquialism, i mean we’ve had would you rather for a while. But this is a very different format from it, and it’s rather, obtuse. Is the most polite way i can think to explain it.

      I hate that i enjoy sociology sometimes, this is one of those times. People suck.

    • endhits@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      25
      ·
      2 months ago

      Or maybe people don’t like being roped in with terrible people based on a part of them that they have no control over? Just a thought.

      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        arrow-down
        5
        ·
        2 months ago

        In this scenario the woman has limited information. She has no choice but to assume average chances of a man or a bear killing her, regardless of the individual.

        When you’re facing down a threat in the woods, how much they enjoy being stereotyped isn’t your problem.

        • endhits@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          4
          ·
          2 months ago

          If you believe you’re less likely to be in danger with a bear than a man, you’re just sexist.

            • berkeleyblue@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              2 months ago

              Which would be?

              It’s nonsense. Out of 100 bear encounters about 1 turns violent. Now, how many men does the average women come in contact to daily and how many of them turn violent? I’m pretty sure the numbers are much, much lower than that for a bear encounter.

              My Wife walked passed approximately 1’000 just today. No one even talked to her in a weird way. This whole argument is just fear mongering with sociallly acceptable sexism. This doesn’t solve any problems.

              Also, statistically, strangers are the last people tk worry about. The overwhelming majority of abuse victims know their abuser or are even related. You should be more afraid to see uncle Frank and aunt Jenny in the woods than any random man.

              • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                2 months ago

                This is a gish gallop so I’m just going to highlight that the scenario in question is alone in the woods, not walking past men on a busy street.

                Please consider that you might be getting defensive, and will misinterpret both the initial premise and any explanations as a result.

                • berkeleyblue@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  2 months ago

                  Not at all. You said being alone in a forest with a man is more dangerous than a bear, and I said that’s statistically nonsense.

                  Just because I wrote more than 2 sentences, doesn’t make that a gish gallop.

                  There are 2 premises:

                  1. Bears are dangerous (I agree)
                  2. A random man in a forest is more dangerous to a woman than that bear (I strongly disagree)

                  I showed my numbers for that 1 argument and that’s it. I’m happy to be proven wrong, if you have anything more than “it just is”.

                  I’m not defensive I find this comparison to be simply ridiculous.

                  • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    arrow-up
                    2
                    ·
                    2 months ago

                    Now, how many men does the average women come in contact to daily and how many of them turn violent? I’m pretty sure the numbers are much, much lower than that for a bear encounter.

                    My Wife walked passed approximately 1’000 just today.

                    The only person you’re fooling is yourself

    • Gonzako@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      56
      ·
      2 months ago

      Yeah, the bear pick is the sneaky way women try to rob the average man of status by implying that we are mindless beasts willing to do the worst at the first chance we get.

      • mrcleanup@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        36
        arrow-down
        7
        ·
        2 months ago

        The fact that you think the point of this is your status and not someone else’s safety says so much.

        • Gonzako@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          15
          arrow-down
          27
          ·
          2 months ago

          Because it is about insulting men. No one’s actually getting trapped with bears because they’re answering either way. It’s there to prove a view, would you rather be stuck with a bear or a black person? A gay person? A trans person? A jew? A Muslim?

          It’s there to rile up people about their prejudices and I’m just sad we’re all getting piled on like this.

          • mrcleanup@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            20
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            2 months ago

            Look, I’m a man, I’m not feeling insulted by this at all. If you are, maybe it’s time to ask why.

            I have no problem being a man while also acknowledging that sexual assault by men is a problem that is big enough that it has created a “caution culture” where people teach their daughters to be vigilant and women will cross the street if someone is walking behind them to stay safe. It isn’t like this is overblown, studies vary but all agree it’s somewhere more than one in ten women are victims of sexual violence in their lifetime. That’s a non-dismissible statistic.

            Sure sexual assault by women is a thing too, but men tend to handle it differently than women do. All we are doing here is acknowledging that in our culture “male stranger danger” is a thing that exists and is pervasive and strong enough that many women would be willing to risk the bear because at least it won’t rape them.

            Why would you be taking that personally?

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              4
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              2 months ago

              personally i’m not insulted, i get it, i understand the problems, but i also don’t understand this at all.

              It’s like it’s hyper polarized almost. The second someone says something or asks a question the response is almost verbatim “yeah but bear wont rape me” (incredibly shitty verbatim quoting but this isn’t a fucking PHD paper so dont @ me lol)

              Like i get that there’s a problem we should be talking about. Why aren’t we? We’re just reiterating the same statement over and over again, expecting for something to change suddenly.

              It’s almost an over abundance of caution, similar to “stranger danger” when in reality, the person most likely to abuse your children, is you or someone you know. Not just a random stranger. Which in it of itself can breed an anti-safety culture, where people aren’t concerned about people they know “because they would never do this” only to find out that, yes, in fact, they would do that.

              • Grumpy@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                2 months ago

                I think hyper polarization is one of the greatest societal issues we face currently. Whether it be war of genders, politics, etc. We are losing the calm middle ground that should be the majority without outside influence.

                It’s so incredibly easy to polarize. We see it in this thread too. The top of this comment thread is a polarization too. Essentially dividing men into 2 distinct set of groups. You’re either good or a villain. This dichotomy is ridiculous and every social community eats it up like crazy, this Lemmy included. These create effects of over abundance, as you mention of caution, fear and hate.

                If anyone actually thinks that they’d be better off with an encounter with a wild bear than a man, they’re just stupid and insane. Just walking down the street, I encounter 1000s of men. If there were 1000s of bears, I’m sure no one would go there. But we’re not appealing to logic. We’re appealing to feelings that’s been derived from these polarizations and sadly I see no way for this to end.

                • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  4
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  2 months ago

                  It’s so incredibly easy to polarize. We see it in this thread too. The top of this comment thread is a polarization too. Essentially dividing men into 2 distinct set of groups. You’re either good or a villain. This dichotomy is ridiculous and every social community eats it up like crazy, this Lemmy included. These create effects of over abundance, as you mention of caution, fear and hate.

                  yeah, i just don’t understand how people engage in this and don’t feel even the littlest bit of fascist tinge to it, because this is how fascist power structures come into play. This is literally how they work. You have an in group, and an out group, anybody in the in group is loyal to you, and anybody in the outgroup is fucking dead.

            • Gonzako@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              2 months ago

              Well, because it’s prejudice being directed and reinforced towards us! I am the average man, and so are you! I am down for all the #metoo movements ya’ll need but it needs to be pointed towards specifics. I won’t allow to be put in the same cage I supportedsome people to get out of.

            • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              4
              arrow-down
              5
              ·
              edit-2
              2 months ago

              demands he isn’t dismissed based on gender

              Edit. I think people misunderstood. I was pointing out the irony of the incels comments.

            • Gonzako@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              2 months ago

              Man, I’m so glad I found people like contra points early in my life because you certainly aren’t helping. If you are a lonely man out there, it’s fine to feel alone and isolated. This worlds harsh and changing for the worst. Remember to keep your empathy, even for those that won’t give it to you back.