What’s your experience with a power exchange or D/s dynamic where the main purpose is for keeping on track of your goals?
Obviously there are a ton of different ways to have an accountability buddy, but I would like to hear about people’s experience with it as a dynamic.
I am personally somewhat interested, but my neurospicey has it so that whenever anyone tries to tell me what to do or to keep me on track I suddenly find the task absolutely loathsome. So when my partner (and Dom) and I tried to add this accountability (like them making sure I made doctor appointments, took time for writing, or other things) to our dynamic, I quickly found it too irritating. The idea of it however, still sounds interesting… but maybe just not with a romantic partner???
I would love to hear from those who are also neurospicy or are with someone who is and if they were able to find such a dynamic helpful/ enjoyable.
To make sure I understand what you’re saying: You often do 24/7, but there are times when you want to switch up the dynamic. Such as going from a d/s type situation to a more balanced relationship, or from a relaxed d/s to maybe high protocol. The problem you’re having is communicating the changes in the dynamic.
Going off this understanding of what you said (let me know if I misunderstood), I would suggest something that makes it obvious that a shift in dynamic is happening / that you want it to occur. The most obvious is stating it like “hey I’m going into Dom mode” or something like that. Another thing could be a “code phrase”, like “seems like you need to be put in your place”, but I would suggest especially for your ADHD partner that the phrase doesn’t need to be exact each time, so long as it carries the same meaning or is “close enough”. Something else that I found useful is jewlery/ collars. I don’t generally wear jewelry so a necklace didn’t work for me, but I do occasionally wear bracelets and when my partner and I were up for the dynamic, but maybe I had to work she would have me wear a bracelet (like a day collar). I had two different bracelets one thicker than the other and when we were going to have a more intense day I would wear the thicker bracelet. However, if we were staying home she would ask if I wanted to wear my collar, which was a clear sign that the dynamic was starting. The tighter the collar the more intense or more likely we were to scene. (Obviously never too tight or uncomfortable).
These kinds of things helped show the shift as well as helped form a mindset that may be difficult when going from a relaxed non- dynamic to suddenly scene. It also helped make things clear so that we could both have better context understanding the other’s actions.