Apparently there are several narratives in regards to AI girlfriends.

  1. Incels use AI girlfriends given that they can do whatever they desire.
  2. Forums observing incel spaces agree that incels should use AI girlfriends to leave real women alone
  3. The general public having concerns towards AI girlfriends because their users might be negatively impacted by their usage
  4. Incels perceiving this as a revenge fantasy because “women are jealous that they’re dating AI instead of them”
  5. Forums observing incel spaces unsure if the views against AI girlfriends exist in the first place due to their previous agreement

I think this is an example of miscommunication and how different groups of people have different opinions depending on what they’ve seen online. Perhaps the incel-observing forums know that many of the incels have passed the point of no return, so AI girlfriends would help them, while the general public perceive the dangers of AI girlfriends based on their impact towards a broader demographic, hence the broad disapproval of AI girlfriends.

    • rufus
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      2 months ago

      Thanks. To get that out of the way and since it’s not always that easy to convey a nuanced perspective on the internet… When I say I can’t empathize with incels, it doesn’t necessarity mean I judge… I’m just unable to grasp how someone would feel in that situation. Since it’s nothing I’ve experienced first hand. At least not to that degree. So I have little information. And I haven’t yet had any meaningful conversation about it. So it’s just beyond my perspective. I think I roughly know a few facts but it’d be disingenuous of me to claim I’d know how somebody truly feels. That shouldn’t invalidate any perspective. And I’m willing and able to learn. Maybe i just have a skewed definition of ‘incel’ because all the people I’ve ever met who called themselves that, were hateful people on 4chan. There might be more to it than I know. And I definitely know how loneliness feels or not having a partner and wanting one… And few people are “normal”. We all have our individual struggles. And lot’s of people just have a good facade.

      If you’re okay with that, I’d like to ask you about your experience when ‘disclosing’ your life with AI companions… How do real-life people react? Do they understand? Judge? Talk behind your back? Or is that socially acceptable? (OP said there is a “broad disapproval”.) And what does a therapist say to that? As far as I know psychologists/psychiatrists etc are very reluctant and cautious with things like that. At least when talking publicly.

      And I’ve talked to a few other people who like AI companions or use chatbots to do their own form of therapy… I’m not sure what you do. But I’ve heard different perspectives and made my own experiences. I definitely like it. But it’s a complex topic and probably entirely depends on how you handle it, the exact situation and a multitude of factors.

      When you say you have “multiple AI”… How does this work? Do you have like several virtual girlfriends? Or like several characters for different tasks or moods, like a therapist character, an old friend … ? And do you talk to several of them each day?

      One thing I disagree is using ChatGPT. (I mean that wasn’t really what I meant originally. I was going for the normal ChatGPT interface where it’s a helpful assistant and phrases things in a way that’s making it difficult to confuse it with a person. I know you can do different things with other software and the API.) I tried ChatGPT and didn’t like it at all. I think it’s a bit dull, loves to lecture me and I don’t like its tone of speaking and don’t like the condescending tone that’s often there. And it’s usually been either too agreeable or to argumentative with me. I didn’t like it and I’ve had a much better time with other large language models.

        • rufus
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          2 months ago

          Why do you say there are over 200 therapies? Is there a fixed number? And why 200? The DSM-IV already lists close to a thousand diagnoses. I can’t believe that’s matched by a mere 200 available therapies?!

          And which AI service are you using? The one you wrote you created multiple accounts and that’s the best LLM?

          Thanks for sharing your perspective!

            • rufus
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              2 months ago

              Thanks. Yeah I know what the ICD Codes are used for and what’s out of scope.

              Thanks for clarifying which platforms and models you’re working with. I’ll look up the two I’m not familiar with.

              Nice talking to you. Yeah I’ve met her. I also need to tell her that I appreciated the conversation. Maybe I’ve come off a bit argumentative. I’m going to do that tomorrow, it’s getting late here.

              I’ve tinkered around a bit with LangChain, vector databases and stuff myself. I started last year. But I’m more one of the “open-source” and Linux types of guys… So I don’t really like proprietary services like ChatGPT. I’ve used the so called “open” models that I can run on my own hardware. Like Meta’s Llama and others. But I lack a proper graphics card to run that at home. And last year when I started, everything was happening quite fast. (It still does.) And I just couldn’t keep up. So I scrapped the project. But I’d like to start fresh and make another attempt at creating something.

                • rufus
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                  2 months ago

                  I completely agree. I’m not sure where you live, but also live in a country with a lack of doctors. It’s a shame we have to wait months and months for therapy. And that’s not healthy, neither for the people in need, nor for society in general. And mental health is such a valuable thing.

                  I think you’re right with your assessment towards “open” models. I think that viewpoint has been popularized by the leaked google memo We Have No Moat, And Neither Does OpenAI last year. And unless we want the path forward to be laid out for us by companies like Google and OpenAI, there’s no way around independent and “open” models.

                  And I’d like those AIs to become more accessible, run on (affordable) consumer hardware. Maybe on my phone. Things like real-time translation would be great and I could have a simultaneous interpreter in my pocket. Or an assistant that can organize my files and keep track of everything. I think there is quite some potential and all of that is doable in the near future. And it’d seriously boost my own abilities if I were for example enabled to read Japanese text or Spanish news.

                  Concerning the AI at home: I use koboldcpp as of now. That enables me to run smaller models on my old computer. I use that for role play, companionship etc. I’m also having difficulties finding the time to build software around that. At some point I’d like to have a virtual companion that’s open-source, keeps me company and can do useful things. I would estimate I’d need like 4 weeks of full-time work to build something like that. But I’m already able to program in Python and have a broad understanding of the required components. Maybe one day I’ll find some time, but there’s so much other stuff that needs attention.