• machiabelly [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    Turning bottom/top into a personality is so frustrating. The fact that people can’t see how heteronormative it is is wild. I think a lot of it comes from how many people have discovered their sexuality online instead of in IRL communities. Few people top or bottom 100% of the time. But that doesn’t matter much for your situation.

    Queer culture is always going to revolve around sex and romance, for better or for worse. What do you want from the queer community? Friendship? This is one of those situations where having more community outside of bars and nightclubs would help a lot. Those places are more sexually charged and less geared towards deep conversation. Hopefully you can find a fun queer community center of some kind to hang out in.

    • HexBroke [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      6 months ago

      What do you want from the queer community?

      A MAOIST UPRISING AGAINST THE LANDLORDS TO BE THE MOST COMPREHENSIVE PROLETARIAN REVOLUTION IN HISTORY, LEADING TO ALMOST TOTALLY EQUAL REDISTRIBUTION OF THE LAND AMONGST THE PEOPLE

      Anyway aren’t bars and nightclubs increasingly dead?

    • ComradeRat [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      6 months ago

      What do you want from the queer community? Friendship? This is one of those situations where having more community outside of bars and nightclubs would help a lot.

      I would like solidarity and for other queer people to not make me feel less queer because I’m not into sex or romance. I dont go to nightclubs, so Im afraid that advice is not very relevant.

      Queer culture is always going to revolve around sex and romance, for better or for worse.

      Indeed, and that makes me sad and depressed. I dont imagine/think/want it to change, but I feel like i should be at least allowed to complqin about how alienating it is

      • machiabelly [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        6 months ago

        lmao I think you misread it. I was saying that having more queer community that is not bars/nightclubs would be nice. I don’t love them either.

        You should complain about it, your perspective is important. I’ve always been the single person in the group, trying to be friends with people who have other obligations. Its frustrating and makes me feel less important as a friend. I wish people valued platonic relationships more. I want to do more than make someone feel less lonely while they look for a partner. I hope you find your own corner of community eventually.

        cat-trans

        • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          6 months ago

          idk if you’ve read his other posts, but he has literally accused queer people of “shoving [our] sexuality down his throat” and has accused people with a top-bottom dynamic in their relationship of being heteronormative as if he was some fucking terf vomitting out a sex negative manifesto in the 1970s. He can’t tell the difference between being sex repulsed and being a literal homophobic kinkshaming fascist.