“We believe the prerequisite for meaningful diplomacy and real peace is a stronger Ukraine, capable of deterring and defending against any future aggression,” Blinken said in a speech in Finland, which recently became NATO’s newest member and shares a long border with Russia.

  • BrooklynMan@lemmy.mlOP
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    1 year ago

    Whataboutism

    Whataboutism or whataboutery (as in “what about…?”) denotes in a pejorative sense a procedure in which a critical question or argument is not answered or discussed, but retorted with a critical counter-question which expresses a counter-accusation. From a logical and argumentative point of view it is considered a variant of the tu-quoque pattern (Latin ‘you too’, term for a counter-accusation), which is a subtype of the ad-hominem argument.[1][2][3][4]

    The communication intent is often to distract from the content of a topic (red herring). The goal may also be to question the justification for criticism and the legitimacy, integrity, and fairness of the critic, which can take on the character of discrediting the criticism, which may or may not be justified. Common accusations include double standards, and hypocrisy, but it can also be used to relativize criticism of one’s own viewpoints or behaviors. (A: “Long-term unemployment often means poverty in Germany.” B: “And what about the starving in Africa and Asia?”).[5] Related manipulation and propaganda techniques in the sense of rhetorical evasion of the topic are the change of topic and false balance (bothsidesism).

    • ☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Whataboutism is a form of a tu quoque logical fallacy used to justify having double standards for one’s own behavior and that of others. Anybody using this term unironically can be safely dismissed.

      • BrooklynMan@lemmy.mlOP
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        1 year ago

        only by hypocrites evading the very behavior they wish not to be criticized for. you confess in your attempt at criticism, not only to your bad faith arguments, but to your own hypocrisy and inability to process criticism.

        The Narcissist’s Dilemma: They Can Dish It Out, But…

        Although narcissists don’t, or won’t, show it, all perceived criticism feels gravely threatening to them—the reason that their inflamed, over-the-top reactions to it can leave us so surprised and confused. Deep down, clinging desperately not simply to a positive but grandiose sense of self, they’re compelled at all costs to block out any negative feedback about themselves. Their dilemma is that the rigidity of their defenses, their inability ever to let their guard down, guarantees that they’ll never get what they most need, which they themselves are sadly oblivious of.

        “DARVO is an acronym used to describe a common strategy of abusers. The abuser will: Deny the abuse ever took place, then Attack the victim for attempting to hold the abuser accountable; then they will lie and claim that they, the abuser, are the real victim in the situation, thus Reversing the Victim and Offender.”

        5 Ways Narcissists Project and Attack You

        is there no way you can’t claim victimhood for being called out for your bad behavior, lies, endless logical fallacies, and bullying?

        • ☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Just to break it down, all I did was point out that you used a logical fallacy as a form of argument. In response, you started babbling about victimhood, narcissism, lies, and bullying. You are in that DARVO picture buddy, and it’s not a good look. What you’re doiing here is trolling and gaslighting. It’s very transparent. You have no points to make, you’re not able to formulate a sound argument, and all you do is just copy/paste the same drivel over and over adding nothing but noise to this thread. Go outside and touch grass.

          • BrooklynMan@lemmy.mlOP
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            1 year ago

            classic gaslighting. you’re not fooling anyone. you have serious problems, and I pity you

            Narcissists Use “Gaslighting” to Control and Abuse

            If you are dealing with a narcissist in your life or grew up with a narcissistic parent, you may have experienced “gaslighting.” It is a form of verbal and psychological abuse that is insidiously cruel, with the intention of making a person doubt their own sanity. It destabilizes you and can make you wonder about your own memory or perception of reality.

            True narcissists are not accountable for their own bad behavior. It is common for them to blame others and make it someone else’s fault. They use denial, accusation, misdirection, and lying to throw you off base. You can walk away wondering if it is just your imagination, or if you are sorely mistaken, and it is truly your fault. Here are some examples of how gaslighting can play out in relationships:

            • Claire used manipulative gaslighting on her brother, Jack. She was jealous of Jack, and when she would go to his house, she would steal things from him. She then proudly displayed those things in her own home. When Jack would visit and see the stolen goods, he would say, “Hey, Claire, that’s mine!” Claire then would follow up by telling Jack that he had given these items to her, and he must have just forgotten. Jack told me he usually caved and chalked it up to his own lapse of memory.
            • A young woman wrote to me about her narcissistic ex-husband. He had not paid the light bill when they were married. He came home to find her and the children sitting in the dark with candles. She showed him the delinquent bill, and he yelled, “I paid that bill. Are you going to believe your eyes or me?” As they stood there in the dark.

            We see gaslighting happen when a spouse decides to cheat and attempts to conceal the infidelity. When confronted, it is common for them to accuse their spouse of being crazy, jealous, or insecure. I’ve talked to many men and women betrayed by partners who say that for quite some time, they actually thought they were just losing their minds and being unreasonable. They look back after finding out the truth and wonder how someone could manipulate them with such conviction and forceful intent.

            Brenda was in therapy discussing her narcissistic mother. When she confronted her mother about childhood issues, the mother’s reaction was to say “You are too sensitive”; “That did not happen”; “It’s just your imagination!” Brenda then recoiled in self-doubt and wondered if she had just made up her reality. She was left with the feeling that she did not matter.

            Many adult children of narcissistic parents attempt to eventually confront their parents about their childhoods. This usually does not go well with a narcissist, and I don’t encourage it. What usually happens is that the narcissistic parent denies the reality, calls their child a liar, or just says they don’t remember it that way at all. This results in the adult child feeling more angst, disappointment, and pain. It leaves them with one more experience of not having their feelings validated or acknowledged, and they walk away once again feeling loss and a lack of authenticity. One client sadly joked with me, saying, “My parents say, ‘Come on home and visit; we will leave the gaslight on for you!’”

            Gaslighting is emotionally abusive and ultimately gives the abuser more power to dominate a relationship. It can happen gradually, so the victim goes from just thinking they misread a situation to really believing they must be going crazy. This can cause long-term damage to a person’s mental health, resulting in mistrust toward others in general, and can even interfere with their ability to form healthy relationships in the future.

            If you think you are a victim of gaslighting, here are five suggestions:

            • Keep a journal, and write down narratives of what you experience and feel.
            • Talk through experiences with a trusted friend or therapist.
            • Practice trusting your own feelings and intuition.
            • Learn to set boundaries, and stop abusive comments on the spot.
            • Practice giving the situation of gaslighting some time. Think it through before doubting yourself.

            We can all have different perceptions of experiences in life. We can disagree with others about our perceptions. This is not gaslighting. Remember that gaslighting is used purposefully to benefit the person doing it and to hurt you. The term gaslighting originated from a 1938 stage play, Gas Light. According to Wikipedia, the story is about a husband who “attempts to convince his wife and others that she is insane by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting that she is mistaken, remembering things incorrectly, or delusional when she points out these changes.”

            Gaslighting is psychologically and emotionally abusive. If it is happening to you, find a way to get help, and remove yourself from the situation.