• Wheaties [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    2 months ago

    For taking on this most serious responsibility, guardians will be compensated with a one-time $500 stipend. That is what state lawmakers allocated for this position.

      • regul [any]@hexbear.net
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        2 months ago

        The smart guys and the people this program was designed to just give taxpayer money to will 100% duck out after that check clears. The real problem is the sickos who stick around to play Fallujah against teenagers for free.

      • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        2 months ago

        The Nashville school shooting had an armed staff member, but no one knew who it was. And it was revealed that the armed staff member stayed home the day it got shot up lol

      • Evilsandwichman [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        2 months ago

        To be fair it’s not often a school gets more than one shooter in its history; all the school really needs is one gun and a handful of bullets in case the first misses or doesn’t kill the child, and thankfully children die pretty easy.

        (you know I racked my brain for like five minutes and couldn’t think of a single way to say this that didn’t sound ghoulish; that last bit at the end there was just me throwing my hands up and saying ‘let’s embrace the inner ghoul’)

  • “If you attack a school here in Utah, you’re going to be confronted,” said [Matt] Pennington. “it’s not a soft target anymore.”

    just one of those cool things people with regular brains says right before tactically deploying themselves to affect a kinetic response after a family court ruling.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      2 months ago

      right before tactically deploying themselves to affect a kinetic response after a family court ruling.

      Do you have family that are cops? The wording is perfect. agony-yehaw

      • lol, thankfully no. I’ve just heard so much of that mil-speak in media and observed it’s infiltration into business lingo that I can code switch to it at will by simply decreasing the amount of oxygen going to my brain.

        • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          2 months ago

          “War on” and “battle against” and all that tacticool talk is used when talking about everything from poverty (and covering it up instead of actually helping with it) and cancer (which involves perseverance feel-good stories instead of actually helping people with it), too.

    • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      2 months ago

      Paying cops to patrol schools and stop shootings won’t work because they just hide in fhe closet. Paying Paul Blart to show up in non-standardized gear will surely save the children.

  • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 months ago

    Idk if there’s even anything worth saying about this, it’s so monumentally silly. Aside from making cynical jokes about how long before one of these dorks guns down a kid, this is just… joker-amerikkklap

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.net
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    2 months ago

    Yeah there’s no way getting a bunch of low or non paid ex soldiers to come hang out at schools with guns can possibly go wrong. I definitely can’t think of dozens of ways this is going to get people hurt or killed. Such a foolproof idea

  • Infamousblt [any]@hexbear.net
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    2 months ago

    Also holy shit what

    “When you envision what the school secretary looks like, do you really envision that the person is the person who would run toward an issue?” Haney said.

    What the fuck lol. The layers of fucked up in this statement is unreal. Utah delenda est

      • UlyssesT [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        2 months ago

        Like the chuds that get really excited after hurricanes and want to “stop looters” as an excuse to murder people.

        • Frank [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.net
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          2 months ago

          Right. The venn diagram of people in utah who have this much free time and would volunteer is actually a street plan of Dis, capital and fifth circle of hell.

  • Crikeste@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Seeing my state mentioned in Chapo: 😳😳😳😳😳😳

    I’ll go ahead and put my prediction here: Somebody volunteers for access, then does a mass shooting.