A lot of old-timey saloons would just put out a lunch buffet and as long as you bought one drink you could take what you like. Pretty good food by some accounts.
I talked to my Dad and he claimed this was still a thing in a few places as late as the early-80s, there were places with “happy hour” where they would put out a small buffet like once a week. He said in college he’d go to them and buy one beer and fill up.
Genuinely, how have you made it to this point in life when it’s this easy to get a rise out of you? How have you not dashed your head on a mirror fighting your own reflection like a deer?