• sundray@lemmus.orgOPEnglish
      131·
      2 months ago

      Now that I’m older and wiser I look back on the things I believed as a young man, and I cringe. We all have to learn to value friendships, and that making of a friend of a person you’d hoped to romance isn’t a loss. But it can be a painful lesson, regardless.

      • ShareMySims@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        7·
        2 months ago

        The thing is, sharing stuff like this perpetuates and continue the normalisation of those same toxic ideas you grew up on. If we stop spreading the notion that friendship is second rate, eventually people will stop viewing it as such, and there will no longer be a painful lesson to be learned.

    • Codex@lemmy.world
      5·
      2 months ago

      I agree with the general sentiment, I don’t think friendship is lesser, but I’d like to see an example of a healthy romance that doesn’t involve friendship.

      • ShareMySims@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        9·
        2 months ago

        I’d like to see an example of a healthy romance that doesn’t involve friendship.

        You won’t find one because that wouldn’t be healthy, but it is the kind of transactional relationships those who are heavily invested in the idea of “the friendzone” are looking for. They do think friendship is lesser, and don’t want an equal partner and friend, they want a subservient housekeeper they can also fuck, and maybe even smack around occasionally as am outlet for their frustration with the world.

  • RAM
    82·
    2 months ago

    we should really get rid of the idea of the “friendzone”.

    https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/time-to-ditch-friendzone-idea/

    I think this article explains it fine, but to summarize:

    it comes from an idea that men (especially ‘nice guys’) deserve sex from women for being in their proximity.

    being friends with someone should be a good thing and not just the waiting zone for a relationship.