• I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeM
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    23 days ago

    I have a really hard time with this. It’s like we’re both speaking English, but it’s not the same language. There’s a lot of meaning that people make out of what I say. It’s almost like everything I say is an implied message to them, so they have to figure out what I’m saying. It causes a lot of confusion and even displeasure if someone takes what I said as being an insult. Often times, I just stay quiet because I don’t have the energy necessary to filter out every possible implication my message may have so that I am understood properly or I think that I will be misunderstood so bad, that it’s better to stay quiet. And even when I do try to filter the message, it’s clearly not authentic, so then I come off as definitely having an implication.

    I knew a lady that told me the world was divided into healthy humans and hijackals (people that hijack relationships for their own needs), but they both look the same from the outside. I remember thinking that was so silly because clearly there are spectrums to human personalities. It’s not one or the other. I remember thinking in my head that she sounded traumatized and could probably benefit from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy because she was splitting. However, in the 1.5 years since I spoke with that lady, everything she told me turned out to be 100% right. Every single thing. She was not wrong about anything. She had some incredible foresight. With that perspective, I developed my own model on neurodiversity. There are autistic/adhd people and there are normies. We look the same from the outside, but inside we’re almost different species. So, if I naturally get along well with someone, then I assume they’re autistic or adhd. If there is a lot of misunderstanding and clarifying, then they’re normie.