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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-11-16 05:02:06+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/sailorsmoon20
Originally posted to r/AITAH
[New Update]: AITA for calling my friend a ācreepy weirdoā after she posted a TikTok about my husband?
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
Thanks to u/ThrowRA_cupcakee & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for this suggestion
Trigger Warnings: harassment, breach of medical confidentiality
RECAP
Original Post: September 12, 2024
I (28F) am friends with this girl, letās call her June (also 28F). In fact, my husband (32M) and I often hang out with June and her boyfriend; i.e go on double dates, have weekend trips etc. Weāve known each other for over two years. I would say that we four were pretty tight as a group, up until this weekend.
My husband is a orthodontist. One of his patients is Juneās half sister, Raya (12F). June often is the one accompanying Raya to her dental appointments. June is also a small time online āinfluencerā. Sheās always recording and vlogging and stuff. Though my husband and I have made it clear to her and weāre absolutely not okay with our faces in her vlogs online and she seemed to respect that boundary. We donāt use social media (apart from Reddit), and we trusted her word when she said sheās not gonna post us online.
Cut to last weekend, my brother sent me this TikTok link with the message āDude you gotta watch thisā. I opened the link and it directed me to Juneās TikTok account. She doesnāt have much followers (less than 10k) but the particular video he sent me had like half a million views/likes (Iām not sure which). Lo and behold, it was a video compilation of my husband with the title āGod I see what youāve done for othersā.
The video was honestly the creepiest thing Iāve ever seen. She had recorded my husband during various of our double dates together, and it was clear he wasnāt even aware heās being recorded. In some of the clips, she would start with her face and then pan the camera towards my husband with a ācutesyā expression and mouthing words like āoh my godā. The worst one was where he was working on her half sister, Raya, wearing scrubs and sheād recorded EVEN that. She didnāt even bother to blur out the kidās face while she was lying on the dental chair.
I showed the video to my husband and he was HORRIFIED. He said it made him so uncomfortable and violated knowing that someone had been secretly recording him. He was angry that sheād recorded him working on a patient.
He texted her asking to take down the video and delete every video she has of him. First she feigned ignorance, then she said that she meant no harm and that it was all for āonline engagementā since, I quote, āTikToks with hot guys go viral very fastā and that sheād gained a lot of followers after posting that.
This was all so weird but my husband and I got our families and friends to report the video and thankfully itās being taken down now. This pissed off June and she sent me a long ass text saying how I was jealous of her online success and that I couldnāt stand seeing her succeed blah blah blah. I replied saying āyouāre delusional and unhinged. Youāre not successful and youāll never be. Stay away from us, you creepy weirdo.ā
Now sheās all weepy and depressed and has been telling our common friends how āmeanā I was to her. Sheās also been posting about āmental healthā on her socials and about how mean some women are with their words lol.
AITAH?
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
Commenter: NTA. You and your husband had set clear boundaries and she violated those boundaries. This shows that she does not respect yall at all. I recommend cutting her off entirely as anyone who disturbs your peace is not worth your time.
OOP: Yes. Weāre cutting her off entirely. I donāt know if her boyfriend is aware of this or not, but I guess heāll have to be collateral damage cause I donāt want her to weasel her way back into our lives.
Commenter 2: NTA. People who think āonline engagementā is more important than basic human decency are sadly not at all uncommon, and they are, as you say, ādelusional and unhingedā, their āsuccessā is not real, and except in a very few cases, it never will be.
OOP: Itās psychotic honestly. My husband is so freaked out about this. I feel so bad for him.
Commenter 3: He might need to drop the half-sister as a patient and/or tell the parents that she (June) is not allowed to accompany her anymore. I agree that is a creepy weirdo. If she canāt get followers or likes without lying and getting consent for people to be recorded, then she needs to find a new career.
OOP: Yes. Heās in the process of informing her parents. I donāt think heās gonna drop her as a patient as her treatment is almost done and itās gonna be hassle for her to find a new orthodontist.
Commenter 4: He needs to ban her sister, your former friend, rlfrom the room while he is treating the patient, he needs to have a female staff member assist him and act as chaperone should your friend try to make baseless accusations
OOP: Thereās a rule in his practice that a female dental assistant has to present whenever they (the male doctors) are working on female patients, as most of the patients are young kids/teens and they might be more comfortable with a woman around. Even in the video she posted, there is a woman assisting my husband.
Heās reached out to the kidās parents. Theyāre being given two choices; either they chaperone their daughter or they need to find a different orthodontist.
I really hope it doesnāt come to baseless accusations though.
Ā
OOP updated in the same post 2 days later
Update #1: September 14, 2024
UPDATE: I donāt wanna make another post for the same thing and I doubt Iām gonna be updating again.
- My husbandās practice reached out to Rayaās parents and informed them about the situation via an email (as they wanted everything documented), like I mentioned in the comments. The parents have responded. They are shocked and very, very apologetic. They have agreed to chaperone Raya on her appointments instead of June. They wanted to meet my husband personally to apologise but he informed them that that wonāt be necessary.
- Juneās TikTok video is still in the process of being taken down. No new updates on that. I guess she contested the reports or something. Iām not entirely sure. My husband and I have blocked her. My brother is keeping an eye on her account tho, just in case she posts something else about us. Weāll see what to do if/when it happens. Weāre gonna be consulting a lawyer if she bothers us again in the future.
- My husband is kinda shaken up/upset/annoyed about this whole thing. Heās taken some days off from work and so have I. Weāll plan a trip somewhere maybe, to take his mind off of these things. Right now, I need to be there for him. I wonāt be posting anything for now.
- We havenāt contacted her boyfriend yet. My husband is not in the right headspace right now and I feel itāll be better if we focus on ourselves for the time being. We donāt want the added headache of how the boyfriend will react/if heās in on this or whatever. Weāll inform him after some time. I know this is selfish but I think itās for the best.
Thank you all for the responses :)
Ā
Update #2: October 11, 2024 (almost one month later)
I genuinely hoped I wouldnāt be updating this story again, but life had other plans.
Previous post;
We thought the drama was done, but nope!
We filled Juneās boyfriend in on everything, and he was shocked, hurt, and confused. Turns out, June managed his social media, and he had no clue what she was posting.
He thanked us, and we thought that was it. But then he asked to meet up, saying he needed to discuss something.
To be honest, we were extremely hesitant to meet with him. We were so done with the drama and didnāt want to get sucked back in. But, he seemed genuinely concerned and willing to listen, so we agreed.
At the meeting, he revealed heād confronted June. She broke down, professed her love, and claimed her obsession with my husband was for social media clout. Apparently, his ātotal packageā made for great content.
When he asked to see her phone, she refused. So, he checked her laptopā¦ and found hundreds of sneaky photos and videos of my husband.
And, for laughs, she had pics of me looking my absolute worst ā mouth open while eating, weird faces, the works! I think Iām pretty good-looking, but these photos were the opposite. Itās like she wanted to prove a point about my husbandās āuglyā wife.
Juneās boyfriend dumped her. But, honestly, weāre even more freaked out now.
The scale of her obsession is terrifying. Hundreds of photos and videos? Thatās not just a crush; thatās fixation. The thought of her escalating to something more is keeping us up at night.
As a ā¦
Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1gsfz5g/new_update_aita_for_calling_my_friend_a_creepy/
This really escalated. I donāt think he will ever feel safe again.
As a small consolation, Juneās boyfriend made her delete the videos from her social media and laptop. But, god knows how many more copies she has.
Despite June not reaching out after all this went down, weāre still on high alert. Her radio silence is kinda unnerving, and weāre bracing ourselves for whatever might come next.
Hopefully it is in fact just for social media clout, not some weird Baby Reindeer type obsession with my husband.
Itās kinda unsettling how she was friends with me for over two years; we hung out often, weāve gone on weekend trips with her and her boyfriend, we have so many mutual friends, and yet no one knew sheās doing this behind our backs. Either Iām bad at reading people or sheās very good at being sneaky and deceptive. Iām also mentally kicking myself for not realising that someone was taking pictures of me. I feel my husband and I both need to be less dumb and more aware of our surroundings lol.
On a brighter note, Rayaās parents are super thankful to my husband for still treating Raya after everything.
Thatās it for now. Hopefully, this is really the end.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Just be careful OP. Jane sounds unhinged.
OOP: We are. Itās kinda scary though cause she knows where we live/ where we usually hang out/ where I work/ where my husband works.
Commenter 2: man this is some serious soap opera level drama like you said though better to stay aware. no one likes being caught off guard. hopefully it ends soon and you can move on. at least the parenting situation seems good.
OOP: Rayaās parents are wonderful. They were the ones who used to initially accompany Raya to her appointments. They said June told them that she wants to āspend more timeā with Raya and sheās otherwise busy so she could be the one chaperoning her. They had agreed cause Raya was excited about spending time with her sister. Itās really shitty that June was using Raya as a ruse to get near my husband ngl.
Commenter 3: Wow just wow. I would take all the evidence and a statement from the ex to a lawyer and get some type of restraining order required her to stay away and remove all social media of you two. She seems unhinged and needs to stay away. This makes me think of a stalker movie and you guys need to change stuff before the movie has a bad ending.
OOP: Weāre gonna be talking to a lawyer to see what options we have. Our apartment has a 24 hour security so I doubt she can do anything there. Iām more worried about our workplaces tbh.
Editorās Note: Update #3 was posted right after BoRU #2**
Update #3: October 18, 2024
I really didnāt want to update this situation, but things have taken a seriously dark turn. When I posted about Juneās thing for my husband a month ago, I thought it was just some weird crush. Now? Itās flat-out terrifying.
The day after my last post, my husband got a super creepy message from a random number: āYou have got it all wrong. Please meet me. Iāll make you understand.ā We freaked.
Lawyers and cops are on it, trying to get a restraining order. Both our workplaces have ramped up security, and weāve warned friends and family to keep an eye out.
This whole thing is destroying my husbandās mental health. Heās anxious 24/7, wondering if heās being followed. Heās stopped going to work because the feeling of being watched is overwhelming. Weāre trying to prioritize his safety.
And honestly, itās breaking my heart. The other night, he broke down in tears - Iāve never seen him cry before. It was shattering.
Heās been talking to a therapist online, trying to cope with the stress and anxiety. But even thatās not easing his mind. Heās consumed by fear for my safety, constantly worrying that June will harm me to get to him.
Weāre covering our bases - security cams, dash cams, the whole works. And Iāve scoured our home twice for any hidden devices (thank God, all clear).
If things get worse, weāre prepared to up and move. Honestly, itās better to have a life in a different state than be dead here. Itās heartbreaking to think about leaving our friends, family, and everything behind, but weāll do what it takes to stay safe.
Some of the advice on here was really helpful, and Iāve done most of what was suggested. If someone, anyone, has any more insights, please share. Iām desperate at this point tbh.
----NEW UPDATE---- Update #4: November 9, 2024 (three weeks later)
Iāve been sharing some updates on a pretty unsettling situation weāve been dealing with. For those who havenāt seen my previous posts, the short version is that my husband and I had a friend, June, who started acting super obsessively toward my husband. She secretly recorded him, posted weird videos of him online, and we eventually had to cut ties with her.
So, after not hearing from June for three weeks, things took a really creepy turn on Friday. We hadnāt heard a word from her, so we both got a little more relaxed about the whole situation. We went back to work, and everything seemed fine, but turns out, we were wrong.
My husband went to the store after work to grab some groceries. He had no idea June was following him, but when he got to the parking lot, there she was. As soon as he saw her, he tried to get to his car as quickly as possible, but she was already closer and blocked the way to the door. He tried to walk away, but she stepped in front of him, begging him to talk to her. She kept saying it was just a harmless crush and that sheād leave us alone if heād just listen. She even said, āPlease, talk to me!ā He didnāt respond and kept trying to walk away, but she wouldnāt let him. She begged again and reached into her coat pocket.
My husband heard a metallic sound and instantly thought she might be pulling out a weapon. In a split second, he grabbed her hand to stop her and pushed her away with force. She lost her balance and fell down, but he didnāt stick around. He quickly jumped in his car and sped off as fast as he could. Thankfully, she didnāt follow him.
After getting away, my husband immediately contacted the police. They managed to get security footage from the parking lot, and it shows two peopleāa man and a womanārunning towards the car. After a short while, the man pushes the woman down and quickly gets in the car, speeding off. The footage wasnāt super clear, but it shows the general sequence of events. Of course, itās still not totally clear what she was planning or what she had on her, but the situation was extremely tense.
Weāve been trying to get a restraining order against her, and hopefully, this time weāll get it, but weāre not entirely sure how things will unfold now. Weāre also moving to my parentsā home country for a while just to feel safer and take a step back from everything. Itās going to be tough rebuilding our lives from scratch, but I guess thatās whatās in our destiny.
So yeah, thatās where weāre at. This whole situation is terrifying, and weāre just trying to keep our heads straight and stay safe. Iāll keep you all posted if anything else happens, but for now, weāre just trying to lay low and handle this as best as we can
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: Madness needs to be confined for everyoneās safety. This woman should be in an inpatient program until she sorts it out, if ever.
OOP: Sadly they only take action once someone is seriously hurt or dead.
Commenter 2: make sure you have her stalking and weird behavior compiled and documented, there is video evidence but without sound and or context, if she chose to take revenge and say your husband assaulted her for no reason it could go either way. best of luck to you guys though ! im so sorry.
OOP: Everything is documented. Thereās an official police complaint; letās see what happens tho
Commenter 3: I hope you and your husband can retake your old life back without her near any of you
Maybe for some time he shouldnāt be alone outside just to have backup and a witness available
OOP: Yes. Weāre practically gonna be under house arrest now until we move.
OOP on if Juneās tiktok account has been dealt with
OOP: Her account has been blocked now. By the tiktok team.
Commenter 4: Have you spoken to her family to get her to stop or have her committed? Someone in her life needs to help.
OOP: We have. They have tried. Nothing happened.
OOP on how her husband is doing and if anyone else knows about their moving
OOP: My husbandās been really distressed and closed off lately. He used to be calm and easygoing, but now heās pulled back, mostly focused on making sure Iām okay. He doesnāt talk much about what heās going through, and it feels like heās carrying the weight of this whole situation on his own.
Heās been talking to his therapist, and he was making some progress. But after everything that just happened, it feels like heās back to square one.
Yeah; we havenāt told anyone. Only my parents and his parents know apart from us. Weāre being v careful here cause weāre gonna be doomed if she somehow follows us there.
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs ā BoRU Rule #7 THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
