I’ve read out there that the ratio between men and women on dating apps is pretty awfully skewed. The estimates I’ve read, from a variety of sources all claiming inside insight, put it somewhere at 10:3 men:women on the high end and about half as many women on the low end. Let me tell you, I sure do feel it. I’ve been using some combination of Tinder, Bumble, and Hinged on and off for more than half a decade now and I’ve had two dates total. The first one didn’t have a second date because she sexually assaulted me, the other because she just didn’t feel any chemistry. I can get maybe 5 matches in a month if I’m maxing out my free likes on two platforms every day. The chance they even respond to the first message is like 1/10. So on, so forth. I think I’m a decent catch. I take care of myself. I have a job, hobbies (even ones that aren’t video games/TV!), open myself up to plenty of new experiences, try to listen to others, and was lucky to be born with some conventionally attractive features. Hasn’t helped very much.
This all sucks, but this is nothing that anybody who has used a dating app could tell you. What really kills it all is A) the way this shitty feeling is monetized to sell $30/mo dating app subs that I will not buy on pain of death B) the white-knuckled grip half the women in the south (where I live) seem to have on outdated gender roles C) the lack of any alternatives
Elaborating on that last point, I live about an hour outside of the nearest city of any decent size. I’m in maximum old-white-people-exurb territory. There’s basically nothing for me to meet people my own age, let alone women my age, without an hour’s drive. All but three of my friends are guys, and they aren’t really positioned to introduce me to anybody either. Out of my ~10 closest friends, only one of them has even been in a relationship in the past 5 or so years. I can’t move because I’m at my parent’s house right now and it feels super hard to justify moving out when you’re making less than 50k/yr and have a stable family situation just because I’m sexually frustrated. It’s been so long I feel like I wouldn’t even know how to flirt or recognize flirting even if I landed in a miracle situation anyways.
What do yall think? Am I making too much out of it?
Dating apps frighten me, to be frank. Ive tried a couple of them, and everything just feels like I’m being screened. It feels like Im being interviewed for work. Or that Im browsing applications myself to see if someone is right for the job. It feels very disconnected, and impersonal.
Beyond that the conversations I have had feel somewhat forced, like I need to have that hook that makes my app jump to the top of the stack of apps. That or its just fifth gear sexual innuendo from the jump, and Im just kind of whatever about that. Ive had two that I almost felt like they were just trying for some shit to post on r/tinder. I dont really feel like competing, so I just dont any more. I am not sexually active, its been a couple years since my last but its whatever. Ive never really been a casual fling type of guy, although I have had few through my life. I have two kids, and a very busy work schedule. I have hobbies, I go camping and trekking, and a couple friends both male and female that I spend time with when time allows. Im mostly satisfied except the occasional desire for a companion. Maybe Im a troglodyte. Maybe Im out of touch, in which case maybe I shouldnt be dating anyone anyway. I dont know any more. anyway, heres Wonderwall.