Imagine the sort of vulture that decides, “you know what gratuities need? me to middle-man the transaction and steal some of it!” and then people actually went “OMG YAS BESTIE, YASSS” and opted in to it.

Ridiculous. Here’s a tip: steal everything that isn’t nailed down. If it looks like they’re catching on, set the building on fire and get away with it. That way, everyone’s a winner.