Do I have to pick only one? I wasn’t a very bright kid.

• Willingly let someone taze my testicles in exchange for a beer
• Regularly jumped off the garage roof to demonstrate it was possible to roll and transition into running while keeping your momentum in exchange for Mike and Ike’s
• Chased black bears off the trail behind our house for no reason, usually with nothing more than a nearby stick
• Skinny dipping in a river known to be filled with leeches
• Got in a drunk argument with a raccoon, which led to my first underage drinking ticket because I refused to be spoken to in that tone
• Became friends with said raccoon and even met its kits once over stale day old bread I brought home from my high school job at Jimmy John’s
• Made a potato gun and accidentally fired it backwards, breaking the glass window in the garage
• Threw M80’s into the water near my uncle every Fourth of July when our families would to the lake
• Believed a girl I barely knew when she said she was on the pill

I think that covers most of my mid to late teens back in the 90’s. Can you believe I’m a systems engineer now?