Basically I’ve been running my employer’s IT helpdesk for 10 years. In those 10 years I’ve gotten some (minor) raises and perks, but never a promotion or job title change. I just “failed” my second year performance evaluation which comes down to “we know you’re already overworked and understaffed but we need you to give 150% daily, every day”.
As a result the opposite has happened and I basically don’t GAF anymore. I close maybe half of the tickets I used to because I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. Also, if after 10 years nothing has fundamentally changed, it would be madness to assume it somehow magically will.
Thing is, I used to be very enthousiastic about my field (IT) but lately I’ve fallen completely out of love with it. Every single month there are changes and evolutions to the many tech stacks we use and I just can’t be arsed to keep up anymore. The enthousiasm has been completely replaced with mostly apathy and a side dish of simmering resentment.
I’m not immediately afraid of getting shitcanned because:
- there’s a lot more work to do than there are hands available to do it
- company has been looking for people for my role for over 5 years but never hires anyone
- I’ve been there a decade which would mean making me redundant would cost the company a pretty penny in severance
- no one currently employed there would want to take over my job duties. In IT, the helpdesk is the lowest of the low. Always has been, always will be.
Regardless, I’m in my 40’s now with one degree that doesn’t have anything to do with IT and without joking, I would rather die tomorrow than keep doing this until pension age. Any of you have decent tips or examples of where someone in my position could aim to end up for the second half of my life’s career?
If money were no object (it is) I would go back to college and pick up archaeology/history. That was what I wanted to do as a child but I had to give it up because “it wasn’t a realistic life path”, dixit my parents and every counselor I spoke to in that era.
I don’t even work fulltime right now and still I feel like I would want to spend those 2,5 days a week doing something marginally less painful, like stick my dick in the oven.
EDIT: thanks for the responses all. I’ve reevaluated my situation and sent my boss and his boss a mail explaining my situation and requesting either some guidance/help/training or a demotion to a lesser position depending on where they think I should be heading. Chances are it’ll be ignored, but at this point I don’t really give a flying fuck anymore. If they want to get rid of me, they will. Add another corpse to the pile, see if anyone bats an eyelid.
This is a question I’ve never been able to answer in my entire life. When I was in my teens I was convinced I’d die before I hit 30. When I passed 30 I was convinced I’d be dead by age 40. Now that I’m 40+ I still feel like I’ll be dead before age 60. Therefore, the most positive answer I could ever give to that question was “alive?”.
I understand that it’s impossible to get anywhere without a set goal, but I just never saw myself as anything but cannon fodder. Our CEO is under 30. I’ve always considered myself the biggest loser on the planet and I somehow manage to reinforce this belief over and over and over.
Goal setting is really hard, it’s an entire skill itself that takes practice. One way to start is to look at others around you and ask yourself who you want to be; whose job are you actually jealous or envious of. That’s a good jolt towards answer.
In the same way, look at the people you rely upon as the rocks that hold things together at work and try to determine what sets them apart from everyone else, why are they the go to people and no the person sitting next to them?