hey beehaw team :) this is partly advice seeking and partly just wanting to share my experience and hopefully hear how others feel about he topic. i’m not sure if this is the right community for this either, but hopefully it is!

i’m a cis woman who’s always been a fair bit interested in both femininity and androgyny for my hair and clothing, but lately i’ve been feeling more of a pull than usual to present in a more masculine/butch leaning way. to the point where i’m even considering trying out binding, which i’ve never really thought about before.

i’m a bit conflicted though about all of this, because i do know i have some internalized misogyny regarding femininity being inferior to masculinity. i’m having difficulty telling if i’d like to present more masc because i think femininity is stupid/not cool, or if it’s something i actually want.

does anyone have any advice/thoughts to share about this? i don’t really have anyone irl i can talk to about this, so any input would be really appreciated <3

to be clear, i am not questioning my gender here. i like and use she/her pronouns and am not interested in any others.

  • jennifilm@beehaw.orgMEnglish
    1·
    1 year ago

    I think the difference between gender and expression is a good one here - how you express your gender and present to the outside world is and can be totally different to what your gender is - leaning more masculine/butch in your presentation, like you say, doesn’t have to mean anything about your gender.

    It can also be useful to detach styles of presentation from the idea of masculine or feminine - when it comes down to it, clothes are just fabric - the gender is something we code into it. I hear you about your feelings around femininity and internalised misogyny - but that could be something you figure out in tandem with your appearance. Humans are complex, and it’s not always possible to figure out one thing after another so neatly, and you might be doing yourself a disservice by trying to figure out your feelings around it first, when you could be trying it and figuring out how you feel about it at the same time!