I’m someone who craves (and thrives) on intimacy and closeness. I’m never been afraid to be vulnerable (I’d actually had to learn that I shouldn’t be vulnerable with everyone). I love it when someone is really passionate about something, even if that thing bores me to tears. I love hearing about peoples’ hopes, fears, dreams, opinions…
But I often feel like people hold me at arm’s length. Like they say, “OP, I like you, you’re interesting, but stay right there.”
And it doesn’t seem like it’s a matter of following the “relationship journey” either. It seems like eventually I hit a wall of someone not wanting me to come any closer. And it hurts.
Being neuroatypical I do realize I have an intense personality so people may not know how to interact with me. That may be part of it.
Anyone else experience this? How do you cope?
After being physically and emotionally abused by a talented abuser my entire youth, I haven’t been my authentic self around any other human beings since I was a child, and almost certainly never will.
With rare exception, human beings are selfish, savage monsters who will hurt you sometimes for nothing, but always when they have something to gain by it at your expense. IRL, I do my weather best to be forgotten and ignored by them as a non-threat energy vampire.
Dang, that sounds rough. Sorry to hear you went through that. Sounds like you were able to take back power, though! Good job!