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Runtime Break start
3h 42m 1h 42m

Episode 14: A Bridge Too Far

We return to Riesingürtle. The seat of House Einfasen, rulers of the country of Helvar.
Having journeyed eas through the Dvalmar Pass, our companions and adventurors found themselves here in Riesingürtle, a massive belt of a city, the Giant’s Belt stretching across the cliffs overlooking the far western edge of the old and fallen Obridimian Empire. Having arrived in time for some chicken and apple cobbler and stayin in a very vertical hostel and discovering, (Julien) with some quick spy work, seeing that some of the Candescent Creed here in the city preparing for Candle Feast were none other than demon aspirants (the sisters of one Tyranny, currently elsewhere in the region of Timmony).
Looking for a chance to get through the city, the decision was made actually to approach House Einfasen with Occtis Tachonis disguised as Erlich Kerzingblad (a knight who enjoys a rather sterling reputation). In tow, Sir Julien Davinos, who happened to connect on potentially even a chivalrous and romantic level with the young Lady Ingrid Einfasen. A beautiful young woman, tall and fair. A little self-conscious about her shoulders. We’re not going to hold that against her. Everyone’s got their thing.
A few members of our party got to enjoy a lovely hot bath. Not so Julien Davios, who had to climb to the tall tower (taking quite some pains to get a letter sent back to the Golden Orchard to inform his family of what might have transpired). House Einfasen proved themselves (maybe not party to the treachery of House Tachonis), but perhaps their embrace of their ally, House Royce, was not as warm or forthcoming as it might have been. Some conversation with the Lady Aranessa alone from the brutal and violent (although seemingly, at least in this moment, moving against you) Lord Otto Einfasen, who was the height of propriety when it came to honoring your call for aid in his castle, but certainly dashed a young spy woman’s skull across the floor the moment he discovered her treachery. As we’ve said of House Einfasen, it is a house that goes from green to red with no orange in between.
After coming together

  • Julien with his bottles of wine
  • Occtis having sent Pin out with some companions
  • Thaisha seeing a carriage of the Tachonis immediately after Occtis’ summoned undead vulture (who should not have returned quickly, did. Leaving some indication that perhaps the pigeon that had been sent was not flying as far as Dol-Makjar, but instead somewhere much much closer).

Some Feather Fall out the window, some horses liberated from a held stablehand. Racing through the streets of Riesingürtle, having basically ascertained that you could not be certain for your safety. You didn’t feel like, I guess, gambling on how the conversation between Occtis’ eldest sisters (Petra and Ryah, two tall, gaunt sorceresses of the House of Tachonis, naturally gifted of the magic that Occtis has spent many years laboring over in the Penteveral). You raced through the streets and the decision was made to not gamble on the pulley gate not being there at the edge of the city and instead went to Shongarten (the druidic holy site here within Riesingürtle).
Entering through the sanctuary gate, your horses stabled, you found the longhall fragrant with wood smoke and other sleeping pilgrims and traveling druids (those whose business has taken them through the Dvalmar Pass or here to the Kavrosi Mountains and found a place of rest), though not as luxurious as the Schneffenkeep of Castle Klippenblicke.
Summoned up to the central glacial boulder (this massive lichen-covered circular stone so enormous that it almost stands as wide as the floor of a cathedral). Enormous dolmens topped with sideways plinths covered in ancient Druidic (a language that combines some of the core phonemes and script of Giantish and Sylvan and some of the earliest and most primordial languages of Aramán). You stand under the moonlight with three elders of different circles of the Old Path:

  • There is Amadah, the bearfolk druidess who sits on her haunches (still about a foot taller than you while sitting)
  • There is Mozor, who is the caretaker of this holy place, Schongarten (who is a dwarven druid of the Circle of Stone)
  • and an (as yet) unintroduced elven druid of the Hunt who beholds you now in this place.

Thaisha, what is going through your mind as the words of Hannan echo in your ears?

”You have brought something dead to this place.”

  • thisisdee@lemmy.worldMEnglish
    2·
    23 days ago

    Man that was a really interesting conversation between the druids. I guess I underestimated their high wisdom.

    Poor Ashley though. Especially with rolling high afterwards during Cool Down. Matt looked so sorry for Ashley throughout the whole battle while slaying all the Tachonises, so sweet to see.

    The demon sisters probably should’ve been scarier but with the rolls it just became hilarious.

    • Ultragramps@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPMEnglish
      2·
      23 days ago

      I really like the slapstick vibes they bring. They even have celebrity matches. Agony (yell and screams) -= Lucille Ball. Enmity tanks two ballista bolts = Herman Munster, Cruelty (the clumsy one) = one of the 3 Stooges or Laurel & Hardy.

  • Ultragramps@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPMEnglish
    1·
    25 days ago

    ♪Episode Song References♪

    ᕕ( ᐛ)ᕗ

    Highlights

    • 00:00:57 Soldiers transporting the Cyd statue
    • 00:02:28 Teor:“…it’s very different.” Is it, though?
    • 00:04:02 Rock and Stone! Spit on him and make him a bitch.
    • 00:05:21 Work!
    • 00:08:57 So many life debts
    • 00:09:22 Teor has not forgotten Skinner, the redcap faerie.
    • 00:10:46 Poor Travis is oppressed by Laura’s patronization about dice rolls
    • 00:12:47 Faerie Lions!
    • 00:21:43 Aabria shamelessly steals Alex’s coaster. Ashley saves the day.
    • 00:23:34 He’s fine
    • 00:24:56 Everything’s so whimsical. Don’t worry, it will be extremely delightful up until the moment you have crossed me.
    • 00:27:19 Aabria:“You have an orange. Use your orange, use your orange.” (spotted by ZemnianKid)
    • 00:29:15 Thaisha:“Something new is walking on the face of Aramán, and I call him my friend.”
    • 00:30:06 Fan Art Moment Thaisha receiving a blessing from the massive bear druid
      To walk always free amongst the family of living things, to know no confusion, charm, or sinister words. TO be free of body, mind, and soul.
    • 00:37:00 The potential goal of House Tachonis
    • 00:38:38 Thaisha responds VERY carefully
    • 00:40:08 Alex smiles at a message from…Matt?
    • 00:41:00 The dice tell a story
    • 00:42:30 Aabria appears disappointed in the performance of the dice gifted by Alex
    • 00:44:25 Hannan has lived so many years that he no longer fears his destruction
    • 00:46:00 Time to bring everyone in to the conversation
    • 00:47:07 The prickly dice call to Matt!
    • 00:48:25 Aranessa always has a ‘Plan B’
    • 00:50:39 Low-flying jet near the studio makes it into the campaign.
    • 00:52:07 Vaelus:“You want to try to find it?”
    • 00:53:39 They don’t hate you, but they DO fear you for being unfamiliar. Not always a big difference, there.
    • 00:53:56 Sir Julien quickly grabs one of the rolls near the mane wolf chef
    • 00:55:52 Julien already looking for exits
    • 00:59:16 Hannan acting shady AF
    • 01:00:52 Elven is not listed in Vaelus’ languages
    • 01:02:56 Menelas, “flower doll”, a representation of the highest ambitions of the faithful elves.
    • 01:03:57 Occtis is…an intimidating badass?
    • 01:06:45 Vaelus’ words are dripping with sarcasm. Alex is actually giving an intimidating stare in keeping with his successful roll against Hannan
    • 01:11:28 Occtis provides visual aid for his story.
    • 01:14:42 Another Nat 20 from Alex
    • 01:15:46 Ashley gives a clear “I don’t know about that” face after hearing the druids claim their deeds have “only been reasonable things”
    • 01:17:17 Hannan totally snitches on Vaelus
    • 01:19:08 Occtis honestly answers that he believes that the ritual he was sacrificed for may still have a chance to continue
    • 01:20:35 Fan Art Moment Mozor’s fiery Identify ritual
      This was carved from the bones of El-Naumri (a celestial servant of Sylandri)…after he died, Tezumriel (the celestial patron of birdsong and nightengales) carved this into the stone you see before you.
    • 01:24:55 Fear has prevented additional study of the interaction between Occtis and the Stone of Nightsong
    • 01:28:28 Alex gives a furtive glance to Thaisha after opening up to the idea of becoming more powerful to fight his family
    • 01:30:00 The vote is made to flee and not endanger the sanctuary
    • 01:31:55 Thaisha:“And if she (grandmother) kills me, I look forward to you talking me down the Old Path. Thank you very much.”
    • 01:32:53 Aabria:“In your pocket.”
    • 01:33:56 Occtis makes sure not to part with Hannan on hostile terms.
    • 01:36:24 Occtis’ diplomacy inspired Vaelus to avoid further escalation with Hannan[
    • 01:37:38 Occtis:“…but I don’t think they’re gonna kill us.”
      Thaisha:“Who?”
      Occtis:"All of them.
    • 01:41:12 Vaelus identifies a Mozor impersonator at the gates
    • 01:42:12

    Roll Inish Bish

    INTERMISSION

    We return to the Hachvallen Brücke. Here the beautiful waterfalls of Riesingürtle descend towards a cliff plunge some 200 feet that will see them scatter on the western border of Helvar. The water is cold, the ice clinging to the sides up here at this high altitude, and we see before us the spiraling chapels and this gatehouse.
    Beyond the gatehouse (not too far away, but up a small winding stone staircase) you see the site of a massive aerie, and you see up there, Julien and Vaelus, is a massive series of nests. The nests appear to be about 20 feet in diameter.
    Looking out, you see a column of Tachonis soldiers walking out in front of you, and you see that (right in front of you) Mozor has just changed his accent and yelled an expletive. Julien, you are the first to act as you see the knight over here at the head of this marching order. You don’t recognize from this distance (any insignia on his shield, but from some vassal house of Tachonis) calling out, saying,
    “Stand down at once! You are under arrest under the authority of House Tachonis!”

    • 01:44:33 Julien:“So, we take them out and keep going?”
      Thaisha:“Yup.”
    • 01:47:37 Brennan:“Everyone’s mad at me. Everyone’s so mad at me.”
    • 01:48:10 Julien:“We’ll see, [depending upon] what your next move is, if this blade finds your neck or theirs.”
      Aabria is loving this.
    • 01:49:49 Enmity casts Hot Flash from the menopause school of magic.
      Julien:“I’m a little sweaty in the gooch right now.”
    • 01:51:13 Thaisha:“My good bitch, who are you talking about?”
    • 01:52:52 Occtis tries to pull rank with the name of his brother, Frons. Except Frons happens to be one of the attacking forces.
    • 01:54:38 Pinjamin!
    • 01:54:58 You’re all being confusing!
    • 01:55:42 As Enmity casts Dominate Person on Frons Tachonis, this becomes a turf war.
      Aranessa:“A dynamic and fluid situation!”
    • 01:56:42 Thaisha aggravating the conflicting Houses with a well-placed “Ooh!”
      (Worldstar being a catch phrase said before an an amateur video becomes violent.
    • 01:57:46 Occtis hits Frons with a Chill Touch
    • 01:59:10 Alex’s longness saves the day
    • 01:59:56 Vaelus strikes a pose casting Guiding Bolt
    • 02:00:46 Matt does a very subtle shoulder shimmy dance.
    • 02:01:30 Thaisha opens up with a Fog Cloud blinding the ballistae. Clutch.
    • 02:03:18

      My boss tells me fuckin’ “Advance!” on Shai-Hulud (great Sand Worm of Dune) or whatever. I’m not doing it. Okay, I’m fired, I’m fired. I get it.
    • 02:04:36 Another Halovar demon, Cruelty, appears calling Occtis “your son” to Thaisha.
    • 02:05:05 Cruelty’s model is similar to Tyranny’s except blue. Her attempt to demoralize Thaisha fails spectacularly.
    • 02:06:06 Matt fires the first shots of shade at another table.
    • 02:07:05 Blind ballistae miss with some big ass “arrows”.
    • 02:07:30 “Lady Aranessa’s Shade” would be a cool band name. A useful synonym for “bully” is Demoralize.
    • 02:08:12 Aranessa:“Spirits of the Golden Orchard, we know not what has happened to our house, but what of our house remains here, please give your gift.” Julien is given Haste.
    • 02:08:56 “If. If is good.” - Pain and Panic
    • 02:09:14 Bobcat Goldthwait’s Podcast “Zero Stars”.
    • 02:10:00 Agony (the fourth demonic Aspirant of House Halovar along with Cruelty, Enmity, and Tyranny)
    • 02:12:33 Push it. Pu-push it real good.
    • 02:14:02 Aabria’s mug gets a kiss. “I love being weird when no one is seeing.”
    • 02:14:38 Pincushion does not grant flanking advantage for Julien
    • 02:16:11 Hype with some riddim gunshotta blasts “Brrah!”
    • 02:17:43 “Was that a spell?” Aranessa’s Shade strikes again
    • 02:18:16 Aabria:“Unfortunately hot.”
      Alex:“That’s my whole life.”
    • 02:19:14 Imagining Thaisha Wildshaped into a character from Mean Girls
    • 02:20:26 Julien dancing circles around Frons
    • 02:21:20 Occtis “makes” a new friend
    • 02:24:28 The irony of a demon named Agony being melodramatic.
      Cruelty:“Don’t lean into it!” (shout out to Whitney making the demon sisters)
    • 02:25:56 Ashley’s posh accent
    • 02:26:20 Occtis gets two moms!
    • 02:27:32 It’s getting hot in here
    • 02:28:18 Alex makes an excellent pose while saying, “I forgot.”
    • 02:28:36 These demons are not known for their mature responses
    • 02:30:17 Just so Sam knows. Too bad he doesn’t watch.
    • 02:33:39 Occtis:“Brother, I think we have bigger problems.”
    • 02:34:09 The prickly dice call to Matt
    • 02:36:16 Agony’s shade game is weak
    • 02:36:50 That first drop is a doozy
    • 02:37:36 Alex makes a plant joke to the druid in the party
    • 02:39:22 Frons is a heavy bitch
    • 02:40:15 Julien:“Eyes up here, girl.”
    • 02:40:40 A little Goodfellas vibe “don’t do me any fuckin’ favors”
    • 02:42:32 This cliffside fucking duel.
      Also, Pin is doing a great job.
    • 02:43:00 Alex forgets how tall he is sometimes.
    • 02:44:06 Vaelus:“Let him have it.”
      Thaisha:“It’s a thing.”
      Julien:"It’s a kink.
      Aabria:“Basement’s flooded…Joke’s on you, I’m Tyranny now!”
    • 02:45:15 IN-credible
    • 02:47:42 Julien:“Who the fuck is Wicander?”
    • 02:49:53 Aabria:“You can’t just say ‘Nope’! You made him leave!”
    • 02:50:45 Ashley emulates her performance with Vaelus as the “confused Travolta” meme
    • 02:52:23 Aabria:“Thunderwave?”

    (continued)

    • Ultragramps@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPMEnglish
      1·
      26 days ago
      • 02:54:51 Fog Cloud is still doing the Old Path’s work.
        Thaisha:“That’s my crane son. Thank you.”
      • 02:55:20 Alex folds his arms in solidarity with Ashley while his lizard is killed.
      • 02:55:48 Matt:“That’s a good album title, though.” (Green Smoke and Wet Flesh)
      • 02:57:12 The ballistae are doing great. The demons remain unconvinced.
      • 02:59:36 The dice tell a story
      • 03:00:27 Here come the twins
      • 03:02:16 Go off, king.
      • 03:03:32 HDYWTDT Julien wins the cliff contest
      • 03:06:06 Occtis is doing well stoking more division between Houses. The demons are convinced and flee.
      • 03:07:40 Bonus Action: ‘Take a minute’
      • 03:10:36 A very intimidating Guiding Bolt
      • 03:12:29 Fan Art Moment Thaisha makes an entrance out of the fog to frightened and prone Tachonis soldiers, killing one instantly with Heat Metal
      • 03:13:52 Matt:“Long pork.”

      Long pork is a euphemism for human flesh, often used in the context of cannibalism, as it is said to taste similar to pork. The term originated from reports of cannibalistic practices in the Fiji Islands.

      • 03:14:30 Cruelty is unaware of how difficult it is being Occtis Tachonis, for now.
      • 03:16:45 Fan Art Moment Thaisha standing over a steaming corpse fending off five Tachonis spearmen
      • 03:17:44 Alex’s luck returns
      • 03:18:40 I guess Agony is with us
      • 03:20:09 Julien:“I meant to do that.”
      • 03:22:18 Fan Art Moment Julien and Thaisha standing together. “She said, ‘Stand down’!”
      • 03:24:04 Time to go. Though Julien didn’t hear no bell.
      • 03:25:28 Sweeney shade
      • 03:27:11 Julian has a way with making vows of vengeance
      • 03:31:35 How frightening and also how deeply absurd.