Oh hey, you know that Jira ask we said is sev(severity) 1 that you were working on. Well we had to come up with a new category for this next ask. Its called sev -1, and it means you have to stop working on all sev 1 requests and have to tell yourself yesterday to stop working on it too. You are then to retroactively undo all your work on the sev 1 issue and and devote all the time you used on it on all sev -1 requests. e-mail me all updates on the hour every hour. The steakholders want to babysit and micromanage you on this.

Get out of the helpdesk they said. Work in system administration they said. It would be amazing to live in a faustian nightmare that gets you paid “the big bucks” as you crying jokingly to others while barely keeping it together.