Yeah this hurt. When I became homeless I ended up vanishing from everything. Had no Internet access or anything. Was just gone. Always checked in with people. Was there when needed and then I can’t contact anyone for a month. I was worried about my friends and worried they were worried about me and that I couldn’t tell them what was going on.
When I finally got access to the Internet to message people I realized no one had even noticed. No one messaged me asking where I was. No one checked in. No one did anything. I sent a couple people a message like “Hey hows it going?” and they’d respond with the usual. Really didn’t notice I was gone.
I ended up logging back out of all of it. Didn’t login again until a year later when I was in a homeless shelter trying to figure things out.
One person messaged me.
They were asking if I could share Netflix with them.
I deleted my accounts. Have a hard time trusting people and making friends noe not like childhood abuse from my mother made it easy. How do you believe people care when your parents don’t and when the people you loved didnt?
Happy Holidays. I’m spending mine in bed.
Alone myself. Been missing for years to people.
Can’t say all the effort for people seemed worth it. My anxiety has made me recluse which I’m turn makes it worse. I’ve physically met up with friends only once this year, the last 2-3 I’ve been suicidal, and the last 10 years I’ve been becoming worse. COVID didn’t even feel like it happened, I was already afraid to go outside; only now I had an excuse to not feel as bad or disappointed because I couldn’t go out anyway!
Being 31 and having no way to just join in socially to anything anymore makes it all the bit more crippling. Everyone’s fully established in their friend groups, work, family, children, so on so there’s little time; even if I overcome my anxiety, no one will be there or even know me anymore. I’ve gone several years without a single person attempting to talk to me.
I was heavily abused when I was a child, and was bullied a lot, it already started me off on a bad foot. Celebrated three birthdays with friends my whole life. Any other event? No. Halloween once. I try, and I put effort, but I think my efforts in life aren’t very rememberable it seems. So here I am. It’s a shame, I was sociable and capable when I was younger. Still had anxiety. But I guess I was more naive and didn’t know how easily forgotten all the friendships and events would all be.
Oh well.
Merry Christmas everyone, stay safe.