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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BlissfulHomicide on 2023-07-18 04:37:12.
I [21M] am home for the summer from college. Much of my time I’ve been playing games with friends and hunting for achievements after having been unable to do so thanks to previous workloads, but I also am doing some studying in between along with helping around the house when asked and looking for summer work.
No matter how many times I make it abundantly clear, my family still won’t respect my boundaries. One important one is my bedroom. Even though I’ve said that a closed door is a very visible boundary, my parents, younger brother, and older sister when she comes to visit often just turn open the doorknob and barge in to ask or tell me about some pretty mundane stuff most of the time. It’s mildly understandable with a slightly ajar or fully open door, but it’s summertime and in the late evenings we let in some cool air. But if they knock and I don’t respond because I have my AirPods in, then they just barge in anyway.
My younger brother is the worst of the bunch. He oftentimes goes into my room to tell me about a mundane story about what happened at high school with his friends, and it’s tiring having to remind him for the billionth time that I simply am not interested. Sometimes when I was away at college, he would have gone into my room and used something like a notebook I was keeping for notes or my cardioid mic for a therapy session without even asking me on the phone. He doesn’t even put it back when he’s done, and I’m tired of literally yelling at him to stay out of my room and not touch my shit, because I don’t do that to him.
A couple of days ago my brother barged into my room to simply hand me a snack I didn’t even ask for whilst I was playing my game, which I was trying out with some R18+ mods. My door was closed and I didn’t even realise he was there, and I again told him, don’t randomly barge into my room, dammit. Then yesterday we had a family gathering and my brother proceeded to fucking tell people about the mods I had been using to try and embarrass me. I was pretty goddamn pissed even though I made up a story on the spot about how I had accidentally joined an R18+ game, which I also told my parents when they asked me about it, and when my brother insisted otherwise I essentially had to gaslight him into thinking he massively misremembered things.
After that I decided I’ve fucking HAD IT. I hauled my ass to the bus, went to Lowe’s, bought myself a door knob lock, and swapped it out myself.
Earlier today I had locked my door and later heard it jiggle, then some knocks. It was my brother and I told him that thanks to him I had no choice but to install a lock on my door, which he then told my parents about. Dad lectured me about how I don’t “modify his house without permission”, to which I shot back that nobody modifies my privacy without permission, and simply put in my earbuds. Since then dad’s blocked my devices from Wi-Fi until we discuss “logistics” of my door lock, and I’ve been using USB tethering since. Am I going insane here?
I find you had every right to do what you did since your requests and pleas all went ignored. As for the changes you did tbh, I don’t even understand what there is to discuss, the change is perfectly modifiable and nondestructive, it’s not like you suddenly decided to tear down a wall in your bedroom or get rid of your wardrobe.
This is a parent power trip about MY HOUSE MY RULES DAMMIT and I’ve been there. You just have to wait it out. It is as stupid as it gets. They try it when you’re an adult even. I once asked when it became my house too since I lived there and contributed, and dead silence occured, but there was never another fight about that again when I wanted some privacy or to make a personal decision.
