I’m really stuck. I’ve been unhappy for years and we’ve done couple’s therapy and tried to reconnect, but it’s just not enough.
I have a bad habit of feeling guilty and responsible for everything and I just can’t see a future where I hurt my partner so badly. I don’t know how to sever myself from the relationship and alllllll of the stuff and responsibilities. My partner slacked off when it came to college internships so they’ve been unemployed for years, and now finally found a fast food job. But that means that if I leave, they’re done for. They can’t pay the mortgage alone, nevertheless the bills or food. They also mentioned in our therapy that their greatest fear is divorce and I don’t know if that’s because they’re still so attached to me or if it’s the fear of having to make it on their own.
How do I uproot their entire life over my unhappiness? That just doesn’t seem like something I could possibly do… but I can’t stay here, I’m withering away.
Help?
As a person that was left with the mortgage after a break up, I wouldn’t worry too much. It was scary having to take on the financial responsibility of two people by myself, but I’ve made it work so far and I’ve had ample opportunity to get out of it if I so desired.
What’s worse is thinking about still being in a relationship where we both were unhappy no matter how much therapy or more intertwined we got with each other. In the period that things were ending, thinking about the finances was scary (It really was eye opining to realize that the thing I was afraid of was financial and not loosing the other person.). In hindsight, still being in that relationship seems much worse.