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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/plumeriia on 2024-01-24 11:39:11+00:00.


tldr: Lack of communication and energy wrecked my last relationship, and it’s about to tank my current one. It always happens at 7 months. Has anyone managed to save their relationship from sinking after problems started coming up?

I (21 F) am currently in a relationship that’s on the fence with my boyfriend (26 M) of a little over 1 year.

I’ve had 2 long-ish relationships in the last 3 years. And I notice that at around the 7 month mark it just isn’t the same anymore. And this is true for my current relationship.

I think it’s because at this point we’ve picked up on the aspects of the other person that we have difficulty dealing with.

And on top of that, at around the 7 month mark my boyfriend also got majorly depressed. I don’t take this lightly and I’ve held my compassion for him as best I can. But it gets lonely.

I’m an anxious individual and over think a lot. I’ve been trying to be receptive of his feelings and hardships with his depression. But there are instances where I need my feelings cared for too. Every time I open up about it he gets turned off by the topic and gets upset and tells me I ruin his mood.

I look at our initial messages and gifts from before the 7 month mark and I wonder where that man is.

I know I can get in his nerves and be inappropriate with my timing with expressing my feelings. But we can’t seem to communicate to better handle instances where our personal grievances turn into a fight.

Has anyone successfully experienced a turn-around in a relationship in this state?