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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Rare_Agent_1897 on 2024-01-24 13:16:58+00:00.

Hey all

I’ve been seeing an amazing woman for almost a year. Things have progressed pretty quickly, we’ve both been through the mill and have a good idea of what we want after all.

She has kids that don’t yet know about me so I didn’t see her last weekend but we text a lot. On Sunday morning, she sent a flurry of messages saying she’d spent the morning reflecting a lot about where she was in life. I asked her if she wanted to share anything (she brought it up after all and this is very much in keeping with conversations we’ve had). She said she needed to think about but seemed weirdly intent on insisting I had nothing to worry about etc. Again, I didn’t really think about it.

Fast forward to Monday (date)night and there was a weird atmosphere from the moment she walked into the restaurant. We had a nice enough time but when I suggested she was a bit pre-occupied, she gave a response along the lines of “I know you were anxious and upset that I was a bit distant over the weekend but sometimes I just need to prioritise myself”. I was completely bamboozled, I hadn’t even really noticed any significant change in her behaviour.

We ended up having a long and pretty frustrating conversation about this that spilled into the next day. My take is that maybe she just needs some space, or that maybe I’ve gotten a bit too carried away in some respect but she seems unwilling to tell me how she feels and reverts to telling me that I’m pissed off about her pulling away (which I hadn’t even noticed in the first place). Up until now, everything was amazing, now I’m not sure what the fuck to think.

I’ve asked her and she’s apologised and expressed regret but I still don’t know what’s going on. Any ideas? I kinda feel she’s trying to ask for a bit more space but I don’t understand why she doesn’t just ask for that rather than trying to tell me that I was the one with an issue? I feel pretty scared honestly

tldr - amazing relationship up until, suddenly she’s pointing out that I was annoyed that she needed space but I didn’t even really notice. Am I doomed?