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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/KimJongYoul on 2024-01-24 17:29:45+00:00.
TD;LR : I am in a situation with someone who feels something very confused for me, i am not sure how to navigate through it properly.
She texts me everyday, multiple times. Even double text sometimes if i don’t reply. She is the one that initiates it 9 times out of 10.
She said she likes me but does not want to deal with her own feelings right now.
When i withdraw my attention, or when there is an “argument” and i pull away, she is apparently really sad and does not deal with the distance that i put very well. In those moments, she is the one that ask for us to talk, and try to repair the thing.
Early january, i did not contact her in a week, we did not see each others in a month at that time, she was angry at me, even her best friend was acting weird because there was a thing without me even being aware of.
She “needs” me, but at the same time, does not want things to progress with me.
When there is an argument, she tries to repair our “situation”, but things do not change, as long as i am back “here”, it seems fine for her.
According to her best friend, she often talks about me, and often pull out from her purse a lil gift i had for her that she keeps in it.
Still, she is very defensive towards me and struggles to open up.
Last week end, she has been going through something very difficult, and has been seeking my support as she often does when there is something.
The attention she likes to receive from me, is some kind of boyfriend type of attention.
Sometimes, she gives me some GF type of attention aswell. By the way she worries for me, ask me to tell her when i arrive home, worry if am not cold, or that kind of small things.
I trust her when she says she likes me, but i see it mostly by the way she tries to hide it. She does not act with me like with her other friends. She is more cold, less nice, more defensive.
I also don’t think she only wants my attention, she wants it and needs it but, there is something else. It’s like, she wants me to be there, and does not want to loose me, but does not want to win me either.
When we go to party together, sometimes she will come to dance close to me, take my hands and put them around her, and then, a few sec after, realizes what she is doing and remove my hands and leave.
I never chased after her. But i like her.
My needs are not being met.
Should i pull away completely so she cans figure herself out ?
Thank you for reading me, and for your precious advice. It’s the first time i am in this kind of situation.