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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/SadUniversity5763 on 2024-01-24 17:31:19+00:00.

This is a bit of a story. So I’ll start from the beginning.

Theres this person, we’ll call him N. He’s always been there for me, and always listens to me, and gets my point of view. We are part of a larger friend group with two other people, S and H. We played competitive games together, the four of us and an extra person. This person shamed me in front of other people, and generally always found something to not make my life any easier while we were in practice. I had a really hard time, for months, because I tried to stand up for myself, but no one really got it because they were all friends with this person except for me. I saw right through him I guess. Anyway, I got fed up of trying to say the issue to them. And I left the group. Really suddenly. I just said one day, “I’m out”. No explanation, no nothing, but they could imagine it was because of this person. I talked with N and he understood where I was coming from, he just said the way I did it was not right, which I admit, it was not. He told me to apologize to S and H, and I did, however, I never felt like I got an actual apology from S and H. They were only there to listen to my apology. I thought, well, it’s over now, so I won’t have to worry about this again.

Fast forward a few months later, I’m talking to them again but more so as a friend, less a teammate. I start liking N, and he likes me back too. I thought it was fun, until S and H hang out with him, and whenever it’s the 4 of us, I was the one who had to say anything to start doing something, the 4 of us I mean. N and I start talking a lot, and I’m not sure what happened to H. He mentioned to N that he was worried that N and I were spending a lot of time together and that we were matching profile pictures in discord…which I find to be odd, because why are you worried about that? H and S said that our relationship wouldn’t work in the future. (we weren’t even dating) and they said this to N and not me. I only found out because N told me himself. And these friends never texted me first or told me anything. I don’t get why they had to go and tell him this when it wasn’t their business. Anyway, he believed them because it was a lot of people telling him that things wouldn’t work out (lot being H and S) and he believed their side. I didn’t, because I had hope. We stayed in a call for a while, just, being in each other’s company while I tried to process all of this and he always asking me, “Tell me what you’re thinking, how you feel” and I told him that I couldn’t trust H and S again.

( I found out that S had been talking with my ex about my relationship for almost a month, and she never told me. It was my ex who told me. So, I already didn’t like S at this point. )

I text N 2 days later, and something must have happened because he started being really passive aggressive with me. I felt really alone in that moment, he was angry about what I had said, (not trusting H and S anymore) and he asked me, “if you really cared about me then why didn’t you text me sooner”. Which just made me even more confused because I was trying to process everything (the fact that my friends had talked behind my back and that they never texted me first) and just wanted to make sure how he was doing. But it was like I was a complete stranger to him. It felt really cold. Anyway, as I said, I just felt betrayed by everyone in general, and I blocked them. All 3 of them. I had already allowed myself to be disrespected enough. And I couldn’t take it with them trampling on me so much. Even N. Because I don’t feel like I deserve that attitude. If he has a problem then just say it directly. It’s not hard and it saves so much hurt. A bunch of stuff happens and somehow my ex is in this group now.

He’s probably making me the bad one right now, even though I sacrificed myself for that relationship, just as I had done with this group of friends.

N keeps reaching out to me, he’s hurt, because I completely blocked him from everywhere. But, I’m not sure why he is still trying to talk to me. He said that friendship looked complicated but he wanted to talk when I first blocked everyone. But now, he’s trying to reach out to me. He’s making small talk. Isn’t everyone talking bad about me with him? Why does he keep trying? Why hasn’t he given up and just listened to everyone else?

I’m so confused because he always listens to H and S, but I feel like it’s different with him I suppose.

Tl;dr : My friend keeps supporting me but is associated with friends who hurt me , hurt me at some point and is trying to talk back to me again. Wants to talks things out too. And apparently I also hurt him …