This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Content_Ad8542 on 2024-01-24 17:31:53+00:00.

My mom is being very weird about my upcoming wedding.

I (29F) and my fiancé (28M) got engaged in December after a little over 2 years together. We are currently in the wedding planning process, and while it is a lot of work, compromising, and some fretting; we are nonetheless very excited to be married in (likely) 2025.

My mom (early 70s) has been weird about the whole engagement and and wedding stuff. She kept asking me if I’m “sure” that this is what I want, if I was going to have a long engagement, and things like that.

After Christmas, my friends booked an appointment for me to look at wedding dresses since I had absolutely no idea what I wanted. I didn’t expect to find “the dress”, but I did. My mom lives several hours away and can’t drive long distances so she obviously didn’t come. I told her about the dress and sent her a few photos. She said she didn’t like it and nothing else. My feelings were obviously hurt, as every young woman wants their mother to think they look beautiful in their wedding dress. I didn’t text back for a couple weeks.

Now, my long-time best friend has agreed to fly out to be my maid of honor and I am so excited. I thought I would break the ice between my mom and I and texted her the news. Radio silence from my mom.

This is a major milestone, and I feel very iced out by my mom, who I would normally say is one of my best friends.

Some things that might be relevant to what’s going on: 1) She and my dad had a horrible relationship with an extremely messy divorce. 2) My mom and dad only got married because she got pregnant, and she was 7 months pregnant during her wedding. 3) I am an only child.

For myself and my fiancé: when we first moved in together, we had a rough patch. We almost broke up, but I gave him a second chance. Since that rough patch, he attended therapy and we have been doing very well ever since. He is very loyal and faithful. He is extremely loving and dotes on me. He has supported me at my absolute worst and has believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. He tells me he loves me every single day, multiple times a day. We share household duties equitably. We have agreed on kids, how many we want, how we want to raise them, and when we want to have one. He is extremely financially literate and we have agreed how we want to handle our money. We both have very good jobs with lots of additional earning potential; I am a lawyer and he is a software engineer.

We will be getting secular premarital counseling together, seeing a financial advisor together, and be getting a prenup. I say all this to paint the picture that we are two extremely competent adults, who have thought about this, can run a household together as a team, and are very much in love. My mother knows all of this information.

Has anyone delt with a parent who did not seem super enthusiastic about their wedding? Did something ever come out of it? This doesn’t seem normal to me, but I have no idea how to even start addressing it.

Tldr; my mom is being distant and cold about my upcoming wedding even though my fiancé and I ready, are good for each other, and love one another.