After my burnout, I discovered I operate on fear. I no longer work and my mother is dead so all stress related to doing things I need to do is gone. I have to work myself up to a shower over several days to a week. I don’t take care of myself at all. I hate it but I actually need someone to shame me into doing something. The embarrassment and stress is the only thing that can guarantee I have the energy to do something.

So I think the answer to this question is, I don’t deal with it. I just live with the shame of not dealing with it. Considering what I’ve been through, shame is a drop in the bucket. Won’t be changing any time soon.