• 2 Posts
  • 668 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 10th, 2023

help-circle
  • Deleted prior comment because the comment didnt add to the conversation and I got lost in my own spiral.

    But Squid, I think its admirable to put your daughter first. Everyone with half a brain knows that decisions like this, uprooting an established family and everything you know, isnt made lightly/on a whim. You’re showing your support of her well-being, and every time you talk about her on here, you come off as such a loving parent. We should all be so lucky. And, youve talked about having chronic illness before and it sounds like youre headed to a place with socialized health care. I wish you and yours all the luck in the world.

    As for my husband and I, we’re childfree by choice, so we’re the best kinda people to stay behind. The kind who can weigh decisions against our own well being and decide what we can/cant handle exposing ourselves to without mixing up a child in this mess.

    Fuckin’ not staying in Texas tho.


  • Are you not even trying to understand how toxic masculinity has forced men to shut up and swallow their feelings, has prevented them from pursuing passions for being “too girly”/not lucrative enough to provide for their family? How its pushed “strongman” narratives, and anything less than that is seen as “weaker/less than”? You cant see how male rape/abuse victims are treated differently than female rape/abuse victims?

    Like, if you really cant open your eyes to how that may really affect someones mental health/quality of life, then I think you should do some work on learning empathy.

    The 25 year old dude working at the gas station is not the reason the patriarchy is an issue. He’s struggling along with the rest of us, and we’re telling him he has nothing to complain about and has it easier. Thats not okay.


  • I dont think men *don’t * extend empathy to us. I think Ive seen a hard shift from my parents (Gen X, they were young when they had me), to my Millenial husband and my friends. The vast majority (that Ive met, admittedly), seem like they’re on our side.

    But it feels like theyre also trying to be like “Hey, we’re dealing with shit too”, and we’re turning around and being like “Not right now” and its been “Not Right Now” for 30+ years.

    Are men perfect? Nah, but neither are we, and we have to make space for them to be validated as victims/people with struggles too. And we can also remind them to call out each other when theyre incorrect, and we need to do the same thing for each other which is what Im trying to do now.

    Dont be the reason that Lib women get an even worse rep than we already have. We can discuss both perspectives!


  • AquaTofana@lemmy.worldto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneAbuse is abuse rule
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    23
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 days ago

    I agree, as a woman who very much cares about inclusive feminism. By silencing men who talk about their issues/pains, we push them further away. By pretending like men don’t have worries/fears/needs/wants, we’re doing them a disservice.

    The Patriarchy hurts everyone. Men need to know that if theyre abused by a woman, it doesnt make them “less of a man”, nor is it “their fault”. No one deserves abuse. They, as victims deserve to be acknowledged and handled with care, and have their abuse investigated/taken seriously just as much as a woman does.

    There’s room enough for us all to be equal.











  • I’m AFAB, cisgendered/feminine af, and I’ve used so many all-gendered bathrooms. With men. “Manly men”, even! They were going pee in a urinal while I was peeing in a stall! At the same time! (This was on a very LGBTQ+ friendly cruise at the time, and only one bathroom on each floor had gender designations for those who really couldnt wrap their minds around the concept). Additionally, in the hipster areas of my major metro area, a lot of the cool bars/restaurants are all gendered as well!

    Guess how many times Ive been raped/assaulted/harassed in a bathroom? Guess, Texas? Ill give you a hint: It was zero. Zero times.

    Fuck, I hate this state.



  • Yup. Stuck to my guns for over a year, and Lemmy didnt grow like I thought it would. Started using Reddit more regularly again in September.

    Now, I do still only use it in the browser, no app, so my usage of Lemmy still far surpasses Reddit.

    But there are some communities that either never made the migration or faced active hostility, so, gotta go to Reddit to be a part of them 🤷‍♀️.