A knight stood at the front door of an enormous mansion. Its gleaming walls and glistening decorations spelt out how obscenely wealthy the family was, which would explain the enormous sum on the quest the knight was offered. Still, a job was a job, and though the quest seemed relatively easy, he would take it with the utmost seriousness.

The butler greeted him at the door and invited him inside, rushing him to a meeting room; there was no time to admire the high hanging chandelier dazzling in the ambient sunlight or the many paintings adorning the walls. Eventually, after the many pleasantries that nobles exchanged before any real words were spoken, he sat on a plush chair across from the noble couple who owned this mansion.

“Well then, first, we’d like to welcome you to our humble abode,” the Mr. said, dabbing his mouth after taking a sip of tea.

“Thank you for having me, sir. I must say, this is highly unusual for a simple quest. I am to escort your daughter, yes?”

“Erm, haha, yes. You are to escort her… to uh…” he dabbed the sweat forming on his face with a napkin. “Well, how about to Gerald’s Peak?”

“Gerald’s Peak?! Are you certain, sir? Such a journey would take months, at the least.”

“Wonderful! I mean, yes, it would certainly take months, wouldn’t it?” The nobleman issued a wavy smile. His wife gently squeezed his arm, giving him a smile in return.

Still, the knight felt as though something were amiss here. “Well then, I am more than willing to accept this quest. Though the journey will be long, I will deliver her and return her here with the utmost haste.”

“No need to hurry!” the wife cried out. “Please, no need to try and rush your journey. Take as much time as you would like.”

“Y-yes, of course, ma’am.”

“We… uh, we wouldn’t want our darling little girl to feel stressed, you see.”

“Of course…” Something was definitely amiss.

“Well then, here’s the advance payment,” the Mr. said, as the butler came in with a giant pouch on a silver platter.

When he opened it to count the contents, the knight fell over in shock. “Gods above!” he said, recovering himself. “This, this is ludicrous! You would offer this much for such a simple quest?”

“Of course, sir knight. Keep in mind, we are expected the best accommodations for her; your portion is included, and anything left over after the journey ends is yours as well,” the mother said.

“And the letter?” the knight asked, only now having noticed it.

“Instructions for when you reach your destination,” the father said, with a stern warning not to open it until arrival.

“Very well. I would like to meet this daughter of yours then.”

“Oh, the butler will have her wait for you in the gardens. From there you may escort her.”

“I’m afraid I must refuse,” the knight replied, putting his foot down. This was too unusual, and for such high pay… He needed to hear the daughter’s understanding of all this. He cannot blindly accept such a strange quest.

“Erm, that would…”

The couple fumbled over their words, trying to stitch together a sentence, but the knight didn’t relent. He stated outright; he would refuse the quest unless they brought the daughter in. The couple glanced at each other, speaking unspoken words between them, until they relented.

Not long after, their daughter walked in. She was in the prime of her youth, somewhere near the knight’s own age, but with a radiant beauty that called all attention to herself without even trying. She was still in her sleepwear, but even in such inelegant attire, she cut a most excellent figure. The knight’s heart skipped a beat as he stood suddenly to greet her with a bow.

“It is an honor to meet you, milady. I am the humble knight assigned to escort you to your destination.” He fumbled over his words, unsure what to say to someone as beautiful as her. His heart pounded in his chest as he awaited her reply.

“Huh? Sigma goated gigachad, skibidi gyatt! Escort quest to Ohio with the rizzler??”

Ah. Everything came together as soon as the knight saw the noble’s ashamed faces.

An ocean. That’s what it felt like, as though I were standing on the edge of a ship in the middle of the sea. Darkness all around me, the sea a giant disk, no one else nearby, the countless stars above me, each their own world, each one twinkling like tears falling from eyes, and then myself; alone, in a void so dark there was no telling where sea ended and sky began, and yet, it was strangely comfortable. Their voices faded away, like distant sailors whose calls fell behind the crashing of waves. Their faces blurred and obscured the stars like clouds swiftly moving past, laden with rain water. The pain faded into nothing more than the strange back and forth rocking of a ship in water, and as my eyes closed shut for the last time, all I could see was the face of the boy whose life I had saved, stars falling from his eyes as he begged for me not to die. Even that, too, faded into the abyss, until all that was left was myself, alone in the dark, swaying in the waves, like standing on a ship in the middle of the sea.

This was it. The end. I am not afraid of death; rather, I welcome it. I’ve lived a good long life, and I have no regrets. Except one; I wish I could have said a proper goodbye to my husband. Told him I loved him one last time, before the end. It doesn’t matter much now, I suppose. My thoughts drifted from place to place, slowly dwindling as I fell into the long sleep from which there is no waking, until something broke the void. A single star, in the distance. What was it? It grew brighter, as though it were drawing closer, slowly, imperceptibly at first, but then faster, larger, stronger, until it washed over me with its warmth and radiance, a feeling I did not even realize I missed, and then I opened my eyes.

An ocean sprawled out in front of me. Not the dark, abyssal one, but a deep, regal blue, brilliantly twinkling with the light of the sun over it. The wind struck me from behind, a warm wind that smelled of salt. I breathed it in, felt the grass beneath my feet and the wind at my back as a smile sprawled on my face. It was peaceful, but in another kind of way than the peace I woke up from. I enjoyed it for a while, but something was deeply amiss. I had died. I experienced death, I knew this much, but for whatever reason, I was here. My heart was beating, my lungs were breathing: I was alive. Could this be the heaven the christians spoke of, their life after death?

I was broken out of my thoughts by a scream from behind. A young girl, screeching for help. Whatever this was, I couldn’t sit here ruminating on the metaphysical for much longer; someone was clearly in trouble. I turned to see a girl in strange flowing garb that somehow revealed entirely too much skin and a much too short miniskirt, fleeing from… a yokai? Some kind of beast on two legs was chasing after her!

My body moved faster than my mind. She tripped and fell down; the monster loomed over her, raising a giant club to strike her down. It swung down and then crashed against the earth, spraying a cloud of dust and grass in all directions, but no blood. I made it in time. I scooped her up right before impact and dodged out of the way, but the situation was no different. The beast, armed with club and horns, turned its focus to me now.

“Eh? What? Who…” The girl sputtered in confusion in my arms, but there was no time to answer her questions.

“Can you walk?” I asked, as the beast stared me down, examining the new threat.

“Um, I, I think so!”

“Good, I’m going to put you down now.”

“Huh? Ahh-!”

I dropped her on the ground and sized up my opponent. He was tall, taller than any man I had ever seen, with arms the size of a full grown adult. I had taken self defense classes before, so I knew something of fighting; I knew this was an opponent I had no chance of defeating, but something stirred in my heart. My chest grew warm, like a fire was burning through my heart. I knew I had no chance, even if I were to flee, and yet… something spurred me on. Maybe it was because this time, I was fighting to protect someone, but despite everything I knew screaming that I stand no chance…

“I’m going to win.”

At my words, at my challenge, the beast charged at me, its hoofed feet beating a violent drum against the ground as it ran, head lowered and horns pointed for me. It was fast, faster than it had any right to be! In moments it was upon me; I jumped, pushing its horns down in the process as I vaulted over its hairy body. Somehow, I survived. The beast crashed into the dirt and roared as it reared its head. Its eyes were bloodshot mad as it stomped over to me, and… wait, where was the girl? She was right behind me. I didn’t… did I?

That one moment was it. That moment when my thoughts drifted from the battle, when my eyes glanced to the side, was all the beast needed. Its club arced down, straight for my head; there was no time to react! Then, when it was mere centimeters from my face, I heard another yell.

“Great Gale!”

Suddenly, a wind stronger than any typhoon battered into the beast, blowing it away some distance. For whatever reason, though, I was left unaffected.

I turned to see the girl I had saved holding a tall staff, with a gleaming crystal on it. She was panting, as though exhausted, but she stood firm, pointing the stave at the monster.

“I hit it!” she suddenly yelled out in joy.

“What do you mean you hit it, were you trying not to hit it?!” I yelled back.

“I just… Behind you!”

I turned to find the monster, already recovered and bearing its club on me again. This time, I managed to duck just in time as the club missed me by a centimeter. Then, it lifted its leg to stomp down on me, but I dodged again, jumping backwards a few times, until I was next to the girl.

“What is that thing?” I asked. “It keeps getting back up.”

“It’s a minotaur…” she replied, narrowing her eyes and tightening her grip.

“A minotaur…? Well, whatever. That was magic you just did, right? We’ll take it down together.”

“Um, are you ok to fight?” she asked tentatively. “I don’t think the elderly should be getting involved in such a tough fight.”

“The hell do you mean elderly?! I’m not old yet!”

There was no more time for banter. The beast, this minotaur, it charged again, head bowed for another piercing attack. The two of us split, and for a moment, the beast seemed undecided who to chase; I made the decision for it by throwing a stone straight into its face. It roared, and nearly pivoted in place as it changed directions to come straight for me. I ran, until there was no where to run. I stood at the very precipice of a cliff, with nothing but a 50 meter drop straight into the water below me. Crap.

I turned to face the minotaur, bracing myself for its charge, ready to leap over it again. But then… instead, it suddenly stomped with one hoof, pivoting around and whipping the club straight for my head! I dropped to the ground, barely dodging it again, but this time I was really stuck. With nowhere to run, it flashed a wicked grin as it raised its club for the final strike.

“Great Gale!”

I heard that chant again, and then the violent wind came again, blowing this minotaur past me, straight over the cliff! I crawled to the edge, and watched it roar as it plunged into the ocean below.

My heart was pounding in my chest. I stood to face the girl who had just saved my life. She was collapsed on the ground, barely holding herself up with the staff.

“Are you ok?” I asked as I ran over to her.

“Yeah… yeah I’m fine… I just need a moment. Two great gales back to back drained me of all my mana.”

She was saying words I didn’t understand. “Do you have any water?” I asked, instead changing the conversation.

“Huh? Yeah, h-here.” Her arm moved slowly as she drew a water skin from… somewhere? I didn’t see it, but it must’ve been hidden amongst her robed.

“Drink,” I said, uncorking the waterskin and holding it to her mouth. I don’t know anything about this great gale or mana business, but you’re clearly over exerting yourself. You have to replenish your nutrients and electrolytes," I politely chided her.

“Thank you…” she said. She drank her fill and slowly stood up. “Who… who are you? I was the only one on this hill just a few moments ago. I didn’t see you anywhere.”

“My name is Miharu Ishikawa. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh? Miharu Ish… um. Miharu! What an odd name. I’m Anna Sauret. Thank you, for helping me! But, umm. what’s a grandma like yourself doing out here? Won’t your grandchildren miss you?”

“I ain’t no gradma yet! I’m only thirty six! You hear me? Thirty six! I’m still too young to even have kids!”

“Wha?!”

“And cover up some more! You’re showing off way too much, its inappropriate!”

First time writing in a long while, kind of got carried away, haha. Hope you enjoyed!

yeah I ship it. Wolf needs to get out the manosphere though.

fucking Texans

So for third party phones, all I have to do is bring them the new phone and they’ll activate it?

the thing is that my carrier is Verizon, sadly enough

Where’s this from? asking for a friend

That’s… actually pretty good. i love this.

ah my mistake, thought you had looked up Kdenlive and mistook it for a phone app

It’s Linux software, idk if there’s some phone thing by the same name, but I’ve used it a little. It’s pretty good.

is the text also AI generated?

that business with the step siblings doesn’t, doesn’t count

gorgeous

in drag?!

post this in unpopular opinions

Jedi survivor is the exact same way

this looks so much nicer than roads. god I hate car culture

tl;Dr

screwworms are a species of fly that lays eggs in open wounds or orifices, after which the larvae will feed on the hatching site, typically causing more screwworms to lay eggs. they were mostly eradicated via releasing millions of irradiated, sterile males into their population, a thing we still do every month, but for whatever reason, they broke through the biological barrier keeping them back and have made it all the way to Mexico.

the infection of eggs and larvae is incredibly painful and horrifying, and while humans are much less likely to be affected, the agriculture sector will take an enormous hit to their livestocks if it keeps spreading.

Is this the first Roman gladiator graveyard discovered?

waves are related to circles: if you have a line and anchor it at one end, when you rotate it the other end of the line, it draws a circle, but if the paper you’re drawing it on moves to one side at a constant speed, you’ll get a wave. Alternatively, if you plot where the other end of the line is as time passes (for example, every second or every minute), you’ll get a wave. you can do this in reverse too.

it’s helpful to convert to circles. from a regular wave, at 0 you don’t know if the wave will go up or down without further information. 0 on a circle will correspond to one of two spots, either the very top or the very bottom, and if you know which direction the circle is rotating, you can tell what the related wave will do next.

at least that’s my understanding