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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: July 20th, 2023

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  • Yeah that’s pretty ridiculous. In the KC market the Royals (MLB) are only on Fox Sports (in some like KC specific package), Chiefs are on broadcast tv, Sporting (MLS) is only on Apple TV I think now. We have no NHL or NBA team but those are all on various cable channels and/or ESPN plus.

    More and more stuff is forced onto cable (like almost all of March Madness was only on cable tv). And of course all the stuff split out onto streaming stuff. It’s such a shitshow and only getting worse.





  • Sorry you feel like I’m arguing with them. But people telling me to ‘go see a doctor’ when I’ve already said I don’t have any money isn’t helpful. I’m also not going into every single fine detail of my health here so a lot of the suggestions are just not going to work. Also people keep saying ‘be positive’ or whatever and I can’t make people see what I’ve said (since it was all stuff in guild/clan discords), but I’ve done the ‘positive’ thing and it ended up the same way. Though usually the positive thing ended with me feeling more alone. So yeah I’m sorry that all of the ‘long thought out helpful advice’ isn’t really helpful to me. I was ‘arguing’ with people who were clearly not reading my original post when they jumped straight to ‘go spend money on a doctor/therapist’.




  • Ivy Raven@midwest.socialOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldBeing 'to negative'
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    1 month ago

    That’s true. I’ve terrible experiences irl too. When I joined an LGBTQIA+ group at school they ostersiced me for saying that I personally had no issue talking to someone who had questions about the communities I fell into. Like that was a terrible thing to them so they shunned me. It was so funny because we had a room you could go to to hang out/study/chill in and when I’d walk in they’d all get up and leave. Other times I’ve just been furniture for the group. Like they say ‘we want you here/we like you being here’ but when I’d try to engage they’d just shut down. Now with COVID and no place to even try to find friends I gave up. I’m in too much pain and can’t afford to go do things so yeah.


  • Putting up a wall isn’t something I do typically. Basically when I go into a group or whatever I am myself because I can’t really hide behind a fake persona or whatever anymore (for a number of reasons, not important here). When I’ve tried to be the person others expect they walk all over me or use me then toss me away. When I’m myself they reject me. So if I have a wall up it’s not very high and definitely doesn’t stay up. So I guess I don’t get it. I try so hard and it always ends the same either way.


  • Ivy Raven@midwest.socialOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldBeing 'to negative'
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    1 month ago

    I don’t have insurance because it costs $600 a month. So again that’s not an option. Gaming addiction? These are my current fixations that bring some tiny joy in this miserable existence so I’m not sure how that is considered ‘addiction’, especially in an autistic community. Also wasn’t really looking for help. Just being seen/heard/understood is more than I get anywhere so I thought I could post here. Sorry if that was wrong.


  • Ivy Raven@midwest.socialOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldBeing 'to negative'
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    1 month ago

    I had talked to them about how I come off as negative but don’t mean it thar way. They said I was good and to not stress it. So I was just beint me and tonight I get a ‘you’re being negative and we don’t want that in our community’. So even being real with them and talking to them about this it wasn’t good enough.


  • Ivy Raven@midwest.socialOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldBeing 'to negative'
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    1 month ago

    I can’t afford to see a therapist. I mentioned this in my post. I live in constant physical pain and mental pain layered over everything else. So not sure what to tell you.

    You mentioned being lighter about stuff. When I talk about the only things that give me some good people think I’m too intense. If I try to tone that down then they say I’m vanishing or something. I can’t win either way.


  • Ivy Raven@midwest.socialOPtoAutism@lemmy.worldBeing 'to negative'
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    1 month ago

    I’d talked with the leadership about how I’ve been considered negative in the past. Even pointing out that I’m not necessarily being negative but usually hard on myself or commenting how a change felt bad or good. But it always goes the same way.

    Also I really doubt anyone gives a crap. I’m 39 and alone with one friend online, but she’s got kids and a life. When I talk about the stuff I like people think I’m being negative even if I say nice things.