Didn’t expect to be surprised by a spider, but gotta say, this woman is inspired, and when I started checking out her other tracks, Yosemite hit me just right:

Only I know who I am
I am not woman or man
Protector of water and land
A voice or the meek and the damned
I rally all who are chosen
Who don’t let society hold them
Asylum for the hurt and the broken
Precious metal, I am golden
Of the moon and the sun
Where I’m from is outside of the matrix, yeah
It has begun, revolution, we gotta say this, yeah
I don’t need faith because I see, because I feel this
I don’t believe because I know I am the seed
Call it what you want
Call it what you need
There’s a shift, there’s a glitch in this reality
Now it’s up to us
Now it’s up to me
To invoke what was spoken through the air that we breathe
Call it what you want
Call it what you need
There’s a shift, there’s a glitch in this reality
Now it’s up to us
Now it’s up to me
To invoke what was spoken through the air that we breathe
Oh, oh, oh-oh, ooh-oh
Oh, ooh-oh, oh-oh, ooh-oh
Oh, ooh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Oh-oh, ooh-oh, ooh-oh, ooh-oh
A voice of the meek and the damned
Precious metal, I am golden
Don’t let society hold them
Call it what you want
Call it what you need
There’s a shift, there’s a glitch in this reality
Now it’s up to us
Now it’s up to me
To invoke what was spoken through the air that we breathe

Humans are the least rational animals. It’s why most of us choose to avoid you crazy motherfuckers. That being said, for what you lack in sanity, you make up for in entertainment value.

Reporting for duty. Can’t wait to crunch me some Nazis!

Oh, wait, you meant a Golem… well, if it doesn’t work out with the clay, gimme a call.

Per an early draft of the Proverbia Grecorum:

Non spernas Sasquatch in visu neque despicias staturam eius; brevis est enim apis in volatilibus caeli et fructum illius primatus dulcidinis.

Or, if your latin is rusty:

Do not scorn the Sasquatch on sight, nor despise its stature; for the bee is short among the birds of the sky, and the fruit of that primacy is sweet.

Sorry about that. I had taco bell for lunch.

Usually with a pound of ground beef and hamburger helper.

Funny you should mention this, as I too am curious, having just posted a rap in French in support of the Revolution. So you got me looking:

This remix from Tim Burton’s version ain’t metal, but it’s got some crunch.

But this is probably more what you’re looking for - Planet of the Apes - Deconstruction - Devin Townsend Project

Hmmmmmmmmmmm

So here’s the deal.

First off, the Valley of Fire is huge - we’re talking Grand Canyon sized, pocketed with open pools of magma and molten rivers. Where the fire doesn’t flow, the jungle consumes all. Ferns taller than me, vines the size of your tight, and mosquitos the size of passenger pigeons. Don’t even get me started on the damn dragonflies. At 90 degrees in the shade with near 100% humidity, it’s not a pleasant hike, so by the time I got to the cage match, I was completely exhausted and soaking in sweat.

I was in no mood to be served with a child support subpoena, so I can’t be blamed for slugging the birdman who delivered it. Asshole shot me in the nuts with an energy beam afterwards and then sent me a bill with another subpoena for a personal injury lawsuit.

So it’s good we’re getting out of town right now. But I digress.

It turns out that about 80 years ago, back when I was the drummer for Wyldtoe and the Squatches, we had played in a tiki bar just inside of a vortex in Sedona (before the place was crawling with hippies). I met this groupie, a redhead, Mogollia, and we got… intimate.

I never heard from her again, and thought that was the end of it. But apparently she moved from Sedona through the vortex to the Valley of Fire to raise our son - goddamit - I mean daughter.

That’s where things got complicated and I screwed up. The child support paperwork was filled out for a boy, specifically a boy named Moon Boy, and when I calmed down I decided to go and talk to Mogollia and meet my kid.

So I get to their thatch hut, and knock on the door. A young girl answers, and I say “Hi, I’m looking for Moon Boy. I’m his fath-” but then she yells at me about deadnames and deadbeats and slams the door in my face. “It’s Moon GIRL you worthless asshole!” she shouts out the window.

To make things worse, that’s when Devil Dinosaur decides to show up. Because it was in the back yard. It’s her damn pet. So this thing starts chasing after me for making Moon Girl cry and I can’t kill my kid’s pet. Even if it is a forty foot tall hellspawn from the Jurassic.

At that point, I figured it was best to cut my losses. So I pulled the old disappearing Sasquatch trick and slipped into the jungle, which didn’t go over well. “Yeah, that’s all you’re good for, LEAVING!”

I spent a couple of nights out there trying to figure out what to do, because each time I tried to go back the damn tyrannosaur would chase me away. So I finally sent a letter by messenger raptor apologizing, but I haven’t heard back yet. I mean, I was honestly trying to do the right thing.

I hope she forgives me.

Pass me that bong, willya?

Solid tunes - always wanted to play the sax but my fingers are too big. Didja know that music was why we didn’t hunt you guys to extinction back during the Ice Age? Aside from birds and the dolphins, you guys make the best music on this planet.

But if I’m gonna tell a story set in the Valley of Fire, we need some Spitfire on the radio to go with these infected… err I mean totally sanitary mushrooms.

Look little man, it’s a long story and involves family, and we gotta hit the road before the crow finds out we’re gone. Tell ya what - jump in the back, have a bite of one of these blue portabello beauties, and I’ll tell you the whole thing. Plus, turns out the Valley of Fire has a lot of diamonds - grabbed a fistful on my way out. I’ll spot you at the Tropicana for the weekend. Deal?

Yeah, I’m down. Best for me to get outta town for a while before @Flip finds out I skipped out on the cage match. Turns out there were some personal complications involved I hadn’t anticipated.

Came prepared though, got some amazing 'shrooms from the Valley of Fire for the road.

Thanks to @WideAtlanticWeird for the news and the warning.

@caribouslim May your call stir deep water, Sings-To-River. Your blessing is high praise. We remember, and the Tah tah kle’ ah asked me thank you for freeing Illipatae, and calling the rain back across the Sisikyou split. The Ifrit were held at bay, and the forest is still green thanks to her blessing.

Damn, I think I found a new hunting mix. I love listening to jungle on the earbuds when chasing down deer.

Totally bro - the direction is great, the shots are spot on, and the supporting cast does a bang-up job. Also has Tasha Yarr hangin’ out as a housewife before her Enterprise days (love me some Trek when munchin’ on mule deer).

Shit, those were yours? I thought they were just strays.

Uh… sorry?

Maybe I can fix this. I know there’s a path in the hotel hedge maze that leads to a pet cemetery that specializes in this sort of thing. And I can probably find the bones in my trophy collection. Gimme a sec - lemme see if I can work out a fix.

Hell yeah brother! I’ll save one of the teeth for you!

… and uh, about that whole Lazarus thing - if things go wrong, you got my back, right?

Oh no! Please don’t throw me in dat dere briar patch, Brer Crow!

Would be nice to hunt something more challenging than a dinosaur from a child’s rarebit dream.

Attack what?