“Someone is going to be gravely injured unless you intervene…”

The void calls ceaselessly, child.

Kinda weird how we as a global species went through an awkward pyramid phase for a few thousand years, then never built any real ones since.

Forget horny jail, dude needs to go to horny supermax

Measure time only by the worn-out office chairs you work through

Imagine him reading these letters at you with full unblinking eye contact.

Buying something hot

Your mum?

Fuck this thread

Fanny blaster

Only one way to find out

Not googling that word

To get the last drops out

Flosses in disgrace

I loved driving a van because it was fairly slow and had no rearview mirror visibility so I could not see or give two fricks about the dude tailgating me with 17 nanometer following distance. If I brake suddenly, their radiator eats my tow ball and I barely notice.

Also because you’re up so high, visibility is really great, but everyone around me assumes I can’t see shi, so when I indicate and start to come across, they GTFO of the way.

I drive a small car now and I point the rearview at the ceiling so I never have to look at the guy following me, stresses me out.

Needed ChatGPT’s help to reply here.

Good luck, it’s one of my staple favorite soups!

Her own, or his?

The plot of The Hobbit?

I find a really big butternut pumpkin (or two medium ones) and slice them in half and take out the seeds and pith, put some salt and olive oil on them, and roast them for about 2 hrs.

I normally do this as a meal-prep step while using the oven for something else, like making a lasagne or a pasta bake, and then if I’m not making the soup right away, I freeze the pumpkin. If you have apples that are approaching their last days, you can do the same with them, roast them for about 30 minutes.

Anyway, once roasted, scoop it out of its skin with a spoon.

I’ll soften, but not brown, two roughly chopped onion in a large amount of butter, like 1/3 cup, then add 2 carrots rough chopped and boiled/parboiled.

Then add 2 liters of chicken or vegetable stock, whichever I have, and all of the pumpkin and maybe 1 or 2 apples. If you don’t add the apples, you can add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar and some sugar or maple syrup. If you want to add herb flavors, do it here, with sage and rosemary paste being popular, but be sparing with them.

Simmer for half an hour, then blend it all up with a stick blender. It will probably be pretty thick, but that makes it easier to blend. Blend it really good and smooth, put your back into it. Then adjust the thickness with water or more stock until you’re happy with it. Season it with salt to taste and take it off the heat. Then add 1/2 to 1 cup of cream, depending on your mood, stir it in but don’t let it boil after that.

Freezes really, really well. I like to make a double-sized batch and freeze it in weeknight portions.

The apples or vinegar and syrup add a tart and sweetness that really make it pop.

And the whole world smells like cigarettes and leaded gasoline