“Don’t call me dirty,” says the pig wallowing in a patch of dirt turned to mud by his own urine and feces.

Aren’t you supposed to be meddling with my country’s politics, Musky? Some reason you’re afraid to do it in public right now?

That’s just the alligator meth talking though.

Reminds me of a similar post from a few days ago / (link to post on OP’s instance). Maybe some of the same responses would fit here.

He must’ve been so determined to kill himself judging by the extensive antemortem bruising, broken bones, ruptured vertebrae, missing fingernails, fluid in his lungs, blowtorch marks, acid burns, […]. At least we know why because he filled in this copy of the standard Russian oligarch suicide form letter.

I’m sure Xi won’t bring this up when he makes his move on Taiwan. Way to give your buddy a free pass, Donald.

Bro, it’s fine, bro, I brought up a picture of a urinal and zoomed in first to make sure I hit the right spot. Bro.

No more kidneys, no more kid knees. The reasoning checks out.

Varkin 'aard all morning, napping 'aard all afternoon. I dig it.

Sorry to hear about your acquaintance, “unalive” (and its other forms) is still ridiculous.

Good point, that’d be a grave mistake.

Consult with your local mortician.

Oh no, somebody shit all over it repeatedly throughout the weekend by accident. Don’t worry, you can barely tell. Had one of my colleagues wrap it up for you and put it in your car when you came in so you’re all set.

The war thunder forums have been suspiciously silent on the matter, however.

If the white fluid starts coming out pink, you’re squeezing too hard.

The poison only makes me stronger.

Whatever it takes to make my dream of a “MAGA gang war” news broadcast supercut happen. I want to hear it in different voices out of different faces until the words lose all meaning like the “This is extremely dangerous to our democracy” thing from about a century ago in 2018.

Good thinking: If they’re both wearing the protective hats, it’s more difficult to know which one has it.

Those frames immediately after impact keep replaying in my head and it makes me feel uncomfortable in public spaces. It’s so difficult to hide my erection.

If you leave it until the last minute, it can only take a minute.