You know what I’m going to say something different and I hope it’s not too inappropriate.

The other commenters have done well so far. But have you considered using some of your money for therapy? I see you said you’re on antidepressants, but I wasn’t sure if you were already in therapy or not.

I don’t mean this as a cop out answer and I don’t mean that they will directly help you with your finances. But it might be a good idea to talk to someone about the “nothing matters because the world is going to shit” mentality. Even if there is merit to what you say, it isn’t exactly helping you feel happy or satisfied with your life. If you can learn to cope with this particular thought, you might find the rest falling into place a little easier.

TFW you’re sitting behind someone in the theater with their Byzantine imperial stove hat. 😔

Yeah, one of my siblings has always been a cocky asshole his whole life for reasons unknown to me. My other two siblings and I obviously have our own issues, but I wouldn’t call any of us assholes. We all grew up in the same environment so it’s odd to me.

Bahaha. Ok I’m ngl this is why I haven’t gotten it either. Sometimes I decide I want to get it anyway “just in case”, but then I get lazy about it. 🙃

Can you not get the HPV vaccine as a guy? Is it like not allowed in some areas? In my area, men, women, children, etc all can get it unless you’re close to retirement age.

Men can get HPV-associated penile cancers, although they are obviously much less common than cervical cancer. Still…you don’t want to lose your dick to dick cancer. Had a case somewhat recently at work with this scenario.

And besides penile cancer risk, the vaccine would help prevent it in their female partners. Or it can help prevent anal cancer in your male (or female) partners.

Idk it just seems like a win-win for everyone to get it.

I really hate to sound like a shill on the internet lol. It seems like you can’t ever talk about how you enjoy a product on the internet without someone claiming you are secretly working for them.

There are a lot of these types of bands on various stores on the internet really. You just have to search things like motivational wristbands.

This one is a bit different because it has words on the inside, but the outside has artwork instead of just being plain. Imo this particular brand is WAY overpriced for what it is. But I haven’t found a band sold by someone else that has this. All the other ones are one sided.

The brand for these is called Zox. I have several of them now. I try to pick combos of sayings and artwork I like. Tbh the artwork on this one is not the best imo. I am mostly into their flower design ones.

But if you find a cheaper company with both motivational sayings on the inside AND artwork on the reverse side, please don’t hesitate to let me know!

I had been doing a casual dive into Taoism and this is really one of the concepts it seems to emphasize. Dark cannot exist without light and vice versa. They are necessary for one another.

Localized entirely within your kitchen???

I’m pretty sure I would eat shit if I tried to learn any BMX stuff. Hope you enjoy it even though you mangled yourself lol.

Ahh damn that sucks. It makes it super easy for tennis shoes/sneakers.

I mean, can you really even have a lake without a monolith?

I guess I don’t have delicate shoes. I just throw them in the washing machine.

Well best of luck on your journey, man.

Really don’t need something to make me more depressed, thanks.

Good to know I’m not just weird/alone with this lol.

Funny you should say that because my therapist suggested maybe I get tested for neurodivergence. That maybe something like that is why they have difficulty helping me.

Some questions for you:

1. What made you start thinking of that for yourself? What is it that you noticed within you?

2. How would being diagnosed as on the spectrum help your treatment? I’m not trying to be snarky, I’m legitimately asking in earnest. It’s not like there’s a pill for autism or anything after all!

See the thing is that I really don’t at all fit autistic traits.

I have absolutely zero sensory sensitivity (unless very very occasionally being overwhelmed with crowds counts…but not super often).

I am generally a dispassionate person without any real interests. Only thing is I can obsess over negative things, getting the right “formula” for social interactions at work, and right now I obsess over mental health things lol. I have been incessantly chatting with multiple AI models for extended periods of time each day for the past idk how many months now lol. But I don’t know that I did that prior. Most of my obsessions are social anxiety related, not autism special interests.

I am very good at eye contact when I am comfortable. I only have difficulties when I am upset or very socially anxious, which is how neurotypicals are too. I used to have a hard time as a child when my social anxiety was much more severe.

I am very very good at reading body language, facial expressions, etc. It is second nature to me and does not require any extra mental effort or focus. I am not at all drained by it and am instead energized by most social interactions (unless I am in places where my social anxiety is turned on)! As a pre teen and teen, I actually did struggle a LOT with learning and understanding nonverbal social cues. But I think that was being a slow learner combined with severe social anxiety. I don’t at all see it as masking because it’s unconscious now and not draining.

I don’t stim. Many people fidget when bored or focused and I do stuff like that too, but not as a self soothing thing like that. For example I fidget at work but not elsewhere. I don’t have to consciously “surpress” it. I just flat out don’t need to do it anywhere else.

Sorry for being so long winded lol. I guess that’s just how I post on Lemmy.

Not really. Idk what I would really have to journal about. My life is pretty mundane. My therapist had me filling out an emotion log for a while but tbh I stopped doing it. I could only log stuff certain times a day so I ended up reflecting more than noticing in the moment. Now when I feel something negative, I don’t wait until the end of the day to reflect and log, but I try to do it when I notice it come up.

I mega failed a couple of weeks ago. Had an incredibly sustained stressful week where all of my skills failed to soothe me. I tried to use them repeatedly and repeatedly and tried riding the waves again and again. It culminated in a very heightened, distressed state in the end where I could not ride the last wave. I forgot all of my skills and didn’t use TIPP and could not calm down without saying some things that scared a lot of people. I haven’t been that bad in many months, but I also hadn’t had that many sustained stressors/triggers in a long while either.

Every time I make a couple of steps forward, intake 17 steps back.

Ah yeah no I don’t have anyone to be a trip sitter or anything.

Thing is I tried an SSRI. I honestly had really wished for the “emotional blunting” side effect that people complain about. My issue has always been intense emotions. I was hoping for something to turn down the volume dial but it didn’t lol!!!

Well, like I said…I chose DBT specifically because it is supposed to be the gold standard for emotional dysregulation lol. I learned last year that it’s my core issue! But I guess it’s trauma/chronic invalidation based (granted that’s how you have the issue in the first place). CBT I find kind of hard to apply and invalidating…it’s like my whole life I have always felt that my thoughts and feelings are wrong. It’s always been hard because I am never able to trust myself. The cognitive distortions don’t really help me much.

DBT seems a lot more gentle in questioning your thoughts instead of just giving you a long list of how you’re wrong. Like in one chapter, my book states to compare your level of anxiety to what is actually happening. Are you in real danger? If yes, act. If no, that’s ok that you’re anxious. Let yourself feel anxious in the moment, but try to use calming techniques to help. I find it harder to apply for anger and guilt, but it’s a start.

Thank you. I guess I hate that it’s almost like I’m back in school but the reward isn’t really improvements or getting a good grade lmao!!

I think I need to try to celebrate little wins more. I have celebrated these before, but it feels like my wins are so few and far between anyway lol.

It’s funny that more than one comment has mentioned this now lol. I can’t say I’m overly interested in figuring out how to obtain that (considering I’m not keen on figuring out illegal means) or doing that on my own. I feel like I’m more likely than some to have a bad trip. I don’t have anyone to be a trip sitter. I don’t know that something like that would really be permanently life changing for me.