Du warst augenscheinlich noch nie bei Schneider’s am Kotti.

“France Holder” would be “Frankreich Halter” in German, not Franz Halder, a name which also isn’t pronounced like “France Holder” at all. Joke doesn’t work no matter what and also, I’m German so I wouldn’t have found it funny anyway because I have no sense of humour and yes, I’m fun at parties.

Christianity as a whole is pretty gay. I mean come on… they’re the ones on their knees hoping for a man to come for a second time.

As a German citizen born in Berlin to parents who were both babies in 1945, I would like to say:

I loved this machine, had one when I was a kid in the 1980s. Good memories.

https://youtu.be/7zTei5RMhQ8

I still use the song “Operator Plays a Little Ping Pong” from the Neverhood OST as my ringtone. Never fails to amuse.

Meanwhile, the 1.5m Germans…

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I’m lucky enough to live in Europe where Chartreuse is still pretty easy to get. Plenty of online shops to order from, about 45 € a bottle.

I really do like Velvet Falernum. It’s great in a Chartreuse Swizzle, which currently is my favorite drink:

• 1 oz pineapple juice
• ¾ oz lime juice
• 1 ½ oz green Chartreuse
• ½ oz Velvet Falernum

Seit sie drüben diesen Affen gewählt haben, geht mein Depot steil bergauf. Ich weiß nicht, wie ich mich dabei fühle.

Ich bin in meinem Leben genau zwei mal ins Stadion gegangen: Das erste war das EM-Quali Spiel Deutschland - Bulgarien anno 1995, Berliner Olympiastadion. Rings um mich herum sangen die “Fans” die erste statt der dritten Strophe. Das zweite mal war 2010, Hertha gegen Nürnberg. Ein Freund überzeugte mich, doch mal wieder ins Olympiastadion zu gehen. Die Hertha-Fans stürmten nach dem Spiel das Spielfeld, jagten Ordner und randalierten. Nie wieder - Fussballfans sind das schlimmste.

They are a product, not a band. I don’t listen to products.

I realized I am not trans but incredibly envious of hot women and their ability to have sex whenever they like. WHENEVER they like. That sometimes makes me dream of being a woman, having this privilege to act all decent but blow and fu** as often as I please.

But then I realize that as an ugly middle aged fuck, my biggest fantasy always was being sexually attractive (at least a little bit), so I keep searching the web for porn that fuels this fantasy, quietly weeping inside and pathetically wanking my way to my grave.

Anyone else?

• Common joker
• Common joker
• Broke
• Restart run
• Repeat

I kinda like TWG Tea 1837.

Are you sure it wasn’t a star and is your wife’s name Claire Cooper, by any chance? https://youtu.be/JNRPa6Mmqm8

Americans be like