• 12 Posts
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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • I was a stay at home mom/wife at various times in my 10 year marriage. I hate the term tradwife, but I guess I fit the picture.

    If I wasn’t working, the house was my job. I did all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry. I made an effort to freshen up before he got home from work.

    We found that when I was a housewife we actually had more time together, instead of trying to smash out laundry and un-fuck the house on weekends, it was all done, meaning we could just hang out when he was off work.

    I do enjoy my work so for now I keep doing it part time, but I don’t think being in a marriage that has traditional roles is all that polarising.






  • I am the wife of a mechanical engineer, who’s brothers are mechanical and electrical engineers, who’s parents are electrical engineers, who’s best friends are aerospace engineers.

    Basically I married into a family of robots, and I agree with this commenter here.

    This is the crux of why senior engineers struggle to talk about work I think, and I find the best way for me to get them talking, is to try to learn something small about their work, enough that I can ask intelligent questions, and then listen carefully to the replies.

    After a while they open up and I get to listen to the best rants about “special metals” or “systems architecture” or “braking systems in the railway”. It’s awesome.

    It’s how I connect with my husband.

    The other wives stand in a circle and roll their eyes about them talking about work because they don’t understand anything. “Oh there they go, talking about work again.”

    I decided I didn’t want that to be me, and told myself I would listen when they were talking, listen when my husband was working from home. Learn to ask intelligent questions about his work, and eventually, I knew what he was talking about.

    Enough that I now freelance in condition monitoring, giving me yet another way to connect with him.

    Ask intelligent questions, get excited about the replies, encourage them so they know you won’t be insulted when they assume you don’t know about <speciality subject> and you will have them opening up in no time.




  • indomara@lemmy.worldtoGreentext@sh.itjust.worksDuh
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    1 month ago

    What an odd take.

    10 years for the children to be able to fend for themselves? Assuming you are married before the first pregnancy, then have a full term birth at 40 weeks, then wait 12 months before the second birth that would put the first child around … 8 when this hypothetical “ideal” marriage dissolved, and subsequent children even younger.

    Which wouldn’t make sense at all from an evolutionary standpoint, finding another man to step in as a father is not easy, so much so that there were laws around the care of widows in most societies.

    The average marriage duration is only 7 years? Seems its nearly double that here in Australia. I also have two 18 year olds living at home who say they desperately want independence but also don’t want to get a job or do dishes, and have the sexual maturity of a potato.

    I don’t think we are “meant to” have any particular relationship type or length, humans are far too diverse for that.

    Edit: Some interesting replies, notably both touch on the concept of “it takes a village” which I agree is something we have sadly lost in most of Western society. I however do not think it is a stand in for long term family units. Instead I think a “village” type of setup takes the pressure off parents and allows for a stronger partnership. The countries with longest marriages are all either countries with multi-generational housing as the norm, or with higher incomes per capita.





  • I am from the States where circumcision is common, and married an Aussie who is not circumcised.

    Yes, there is a difference. In a lot of ways the presence of a foreskin makes sex and foreplay easier. For instance giving a handjob - most circumcised men don’t like a hand job that includes stroking the glans without lubrication because it hurts, while a foreskin slips over the glans and allows movement.

    Giving head is pretty much the same, though it feels different obviously as there is skin there if the foreskin is not fully retracted.

    Having intercourse is easier and less lubricant is needed, because the foreskin stays somewhat stationary during thrusting, preventing things from drying out.

    Circumcision is so common in the States that most people there have never even seen an uncircumcised male, it doesn’t help that most porn is produced there.