I disagree

Let me know how it goes, I could use some pointers

Finally someone who won’t take forever in a donut shop

I’m told it’s no more than a chest x-ray

Well he’s not wrong, we certainly could use more hanging Nazis.

General Pickett: Hold my beer!

If you send an email that says “Do not reply all” to 200,000 people, its your own damn fault

On a scale of 1-10 how high are you right now?

As I understand, thos policies are why bird took much longer to hit the west coast.

How do you know that your fruit tastes like shampoo if you haven’t eaten any shampoo?

I can tell you from past experience that fruit scented shampoo, does not, in fact, taste like fruit. Maybe recipes have changed and yours does. Only one way to find out!

The least they could do is tell me which lighters it is okay to burn babies with

It’s a county in the central valley of California where a firework warehouse recently exploded

Or Dolly Parton losing in a drag look alike contest

I’ll give you $20 for it

Remake the original trilogy but replace every character with Jar Jar

He seems like an all right guy

I must be part Polish

We did it! We stopped the weather!

Instructions unclear, showed up to my obgyn appointment with my drug dealer covered in googly eyes

We left this side blank so you can help!