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Cake day: 13. Juni 2023

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  • Definitely it doesn’t need to exist for every phobia or in every game, but for phobias that really are only present audio-visually (blood splatters, certain noises, monster models, etc) and not narratively (quest-lines and dialogue), I think it is simple enough to have a model-swap setting or similar. I don’t mind the ludo-narrative dissonance of an NPC telling me to go fix their spider infestation in their cellar and then finding a den of cob-web surrounded werebadgers or whatever. Games like Don’t Starve already let the player fully customize the spawn rates of difference monsters, while other games let the player disable their character drowning or burning, for example.



  • Admittedly, I probably could write more consistently if I had some kind of outside force making me, but where do I find that? I both need structure and avoid it at all costs because it feels so suffocating. I could maybe get an accountability buddy, though I hate having to be accountable, but I doubt that would be enough.

    I realize this is like 2 months later, but I read your posts and wanted to let you know about an online event/community called NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). It’s an annual event/challenge (traditionally in November) to write 50k (or your own goal) words in 1 month, with an explicit quantity > quality approach. I’m an aspiring writer in the same boat as you and participating in NaNoWriMo is the only thing that ever worked to get me putting words on paper, even during college. It provides some structure (daily or weekly goals) without being suffocating, and it adds a bit of a gamification/friendly self-competition element to the experience of writing, but the community itself is really laid-back, casual, and inclusive. There are also sometimes in-person writing get-togethers that can be very helpful to get that extra dopamine boost for writing. If you’ve already tried out this or something similar and it wasn’t for you, no biggie, I just wanted to highlight a potential writing aid that you/others reading might not have heard about.


  • I subscribed to Dropout earlier this year after I exhausted the free episodes on their YouTube channel. Definitely a fan of GameChanger and Make Some Noise! I recently started watching Um, Actually as well. One of these days I’ll have to get into the DnD side of things; I know I’ll like them, it just feels like more of an undertaking to watch, you know?


  • Finished up a refreshingly boring week at work and this Sunday I will be traveling to Manhattan for employee training! I visited Manhattan last month and did all the classic NYC tourist stuff but I feel I missed out on the food side of NYC; the recommendations I got at the time were subpar. If anyone has tips for worthwhile food spots to check out nearish to Moynihan/Penn Station, lemme know!



  • This is purely my own speculation, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it is partly to do with the reasons that cis people get the same operations. If a cis teen gets breast cancer (which is rare but does happen), there needs to be a legal and medical process to authorize a mastectomy as soon as possible, since waiting will allow the cancer to spread. A cis teen with a genital injury won’t be physically harmed by waiting until adulthood to get reconstructive cosmetic surgery. Whatever authorization process that exists for these purposes is probably the baseline that processes for transition surgeries are built on.

    Edit: typos


  • I’ve definitely used vector space to conceptualize my gender identity before, but definitely 3 axes is too limiting. There’s a difference between the presence/lack of genders and the “method” in which they are experienced, after all. A binary woman and a genderfluid person who is currently a woman have the same (current) gender, but their fluidity is obviously different.

    For me, personally, I would need at least two additional axes for genders; I’m bigender, but neither of them are man or woman, so your scale would look like (0,0,1) for me, which would match a mostly-agender person which I’m definitely not. Other people would probably want an axis for gender intensity i.e. how much presence of a gender one experiences. Some people feel their gender very strongly while for others it’s just sorta there in the background. Some people would definitely want to use negative numbers.Then there are all the people who describe their gender as “orbiting” or “parallel to” a binary gender, introducing the possibility of using vectors to describe gender rather than points in space…

    I’d probably describe myself as (0,0,1,5,6), where the 4th axis is juxera and the 5th axis is mavrique. I have felt gender fluidity in the past but it’s been pretty solid for a few years now.




  • Can we get a transcript/archived copy of the survey questions? Not the answers people provided, but just what questions were and the answers available to select from. Also an image transcription of the graphs would be helpful; the text in the images is difficult to read on Jerboa.

    I’m curious where the decision to separate nonbinary and genderfluid into different categories came from. In the various queer communities I’m in, genderfluidity is considered to fall under the nonbinary umbrella, so breaking it out as a separate option while not breaking out other nonbinary identities looks a little odd to me.

    I would be interested in knowing the trans/cis demographics as well; if, for all we know, Beehaw has equals numbers of trans men to cis men, this survey wouldn’t reveal that or any other notable proportions.

    I also want to include myself as another person who found the white/non-white question a bit uncomfortable. If it had asked me about being a person of color or some other phrasing, I wouldn’t have blinked, but there is something unpleasant about being asked where I stand in a racial dichotomy as a biracial person. I don’t know a better way to phrase the question that still captures the intent, though.



  • I’m not part of a specific denomination atm, having come from a vaguely evangelical background*, and my childhood religious education was woefully lacking in explanation of the different denominations and schisms. I want to try attending a variety of affirming, universalist churches to broaden my experience and figure out where I belong. I’ve heard good things online about Episcopal churches but I’ve never attended one.

    *My parents were a Catholic/Protestant couple and made some odd decisions, like explicitly telling me we were attending such and such church but we’re not members of it, but then never really educating me in any other denomination’s teachings.



  • My parents are in their 50s and do not view video games as an unusual hobby. My father regularly plays games with his friends (aged 30s to 50s) on Friday nights and the weekend.

    The only person I’ve met who viewed video games like what you describe was a mid-60s gentleman who struggled to believe that I played video games regularly and had a good GPA in college. His hobbies were golf and walking, though, so he wasn’t about to call anyone else’s hobby “boring.”

    There is no age or demographic for whom video games are an unacceptable pastime. There are merely individuals who have their own weird hangups regarding the hobbies of others.

    Edit: wanted to add that I love to hear of parents gaming together with their kids! Some of my favorite childhood memories are playing games with my family and we still sometimes get together to play a co-op game.