numbermess

I know that a fairly large B2B Ecommerce platform called OroCommerce just moved all their customers’ cloud hosting to Oracle. I doubt that would have all of a sudden made Larry Ellison the richest guy in the whole world, but it is something that happened recently. I sure don’t hear a lot of people saying LETS USE ORACLE otherwise these days.

Pretty soon they’re gonna be like “Y’all know what we’re doing and you know what we’re going to say, and we are not wearing these hot-ass moving blankets anymore either. Fuck all y’all.”

I cannot correctly say my kids’ names when I’m stressed out in a hurry. I just end up saying both of their names. Eventually I will be right.

I’m sure they’ll come around and proudly excuse him of this and any other future degeneracy he chooses to become.

❤️ Xi loves me ❤️ 😭 Xi loves me not 😭

For like 15 years my wife and I will occasionally greet each other with the “I came here specifically for dinner!” line from MST3K Mitchell. That movie really holds up.

Your Honor, may I approach the bench and slam my three fingers of Cutty

“Critics See Big Risks”

Now this place sucks even more than it did before! God damn this whole thing is stupid.

Now this place sucks even more than it did before! God damn this whole thing is stupid.

This is all just a distraction from the most fundamental concepts of distraction itself!

Maybe he’s also planning on hiding the results too. Some newspaper who didn’t get the message that The Numbers Are Perfect Now prints a headline like “All factories in town closed, all employees laid off!”

Suddenly everybody who works there is deported. The town cries out “THEY WERE BORN HERE SIXTY YEARS AGO, FOR FUCKS SAKE” and the camera zooms in on Stephen Miller touching his fingertips to his lips and making a kissyface “oops” before Hammertime dancing and howling “and go get them too”

My dad (RIP) became nuts over civil war statues. I don’t remember him ever saying anything hot/cold fora long time one way or another about the Confederacy even though we lived near Shiloh Military Park. We talked about Civil War kind of stuff normally for years, but then all of a sudden he was 100% white hot on Civil War statues and would not entertain anything but total agreement. He would slam the phone down on me and then call right back to chew me out if I didn’t instantly and fully agree with what he was saying about they are part of our history and should be protected. He’d park in front of the county courthouse to make sure that nothing happened to the statue there. I felt like he was acting the same way that I did when I was a dumb idiot and getting mad about all the wrong things.

Oh yeah the Boss Hogg/Harkonnen guy.

Now I gotta get me a bigger truck that ain’t got no ads

You have got mail

I remember even smoking in cars and using their ashtrays. Filling them up with butts and scooting them around or compacting the ash to make room for “just one more” because I “didn’t have the time” to dump it out into a parking lot yet. I spent a long time not thinking that cigarette trash was garbage. It just seemed like it was a necessary part of daily life and that whatever was done in support of keeping it coming and not thinking much about it was entirely excusable and normal. I remember my parents smoking on airplanes.

Alligator Auschwitz

Me too, Germany