Split right down the urethra, obviously.
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Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: July 9th, 2023
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The average human has one breast, one testicle, one ovary, and half of a penis. So clearly you have half of a penis.
I’m more the combination lock master, I can just feel my way through many of them.
Saturday the 14th, obviously…
5·1 day agoWhat would Jesus do?
Jesus never owned a gun, they didn’t exist back then.
2·1 day agoEating smoked sausage right after grandma’s cremation.
In my experience, Lemmy isn’t particularly toxic, though sometimes you might run across people with a bad attitude or just might have simply had a bad day. Block those sort of people if you need to, or report them, depending on context.
Also, life pro tip, people aren’t too keen on reading walls of text, especially if it’s mostly complaining…
12·2 days agoIf you really feel the need to quit your job, you might consider making a resignation letter, expressing why you’re quitting, and proofread that at least 3 times.
Edit: Try to be polite and professional about it. And keep a copy for your own records, in case your boss might try talking lies and bullshit about you.
Did your keyboard have a stroke? Haha, I more or less get you though.
14·2 days agoTell them “I need this job because working 40 hours a week at the sperm bank is very exhausting”
You do have a point, but most phones have one edge that doesn’t have any buttons, and most people have their phone in a case, which assuming it’s a proper fitting case, usually cancels out that camera bump issue and makes it sit properly flat on a table.
Does it turn into a zoetrope after he dies?
Nelson needs answers now!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoetrope
Spin that flesh up, let’s see…
Yes, of course. My smile goes all the way around though. Don’t ask why there are two holes, that’s a long story…
Thank you for caring. If you need to or just feel it’s best, there are all sorts of safe live animal traps out there, if you need it or any more coons relocated…
I usually put the hair on the meatballs, but to each their own…
3·3 days agoI wasn’t exactly referring to the military…
Seed the clouds with pepper, make everyone sneeze…
That would be a fun distraction…
Oh no, the bullets and missiles might get wet!
Side note, seal them in wax, they can survive the rain…
Take that information however you will…
6·3 days agoMy eggs are notarized homie, $10 each.
I’ll never have Elmo’s brain chip implanted for one…