So this monitor monitors you?

If Lego costs an arm and a leg, and you use them to replace your leg… Imma need to see the upper half of this photo to confirm a hypothesis.

“OooOooh! That’s Terrible! 😃🍿” - Bill Hader on SNL as Keith Morrison on Dateline

*except Batman, but that’s why it’s fiction

Exactly, Santa’s always watching and audit logs get complicated

Sender listed as Axe Body Spray HQ

Can you site your sources from the global south? Also who says they’re not both wrong? Flawed governments spring out of good ideas all the time, humans have a bad habit of cutting corners and the world is more grey than that.

Dude is complaining about capitalism weeding out inefficiencies in the market… The one time it does its job he hates it, amazing. I would frame this if it didn’t mean I would need to rent a printer in one way or another.

The key is to really make it sound like you’re telling a story, offhand jokes aren’t normally formatted like that.

"Be careful, a table accidentally lost their forks in the chicken, and I really used to like them… "

Do not give any details because in your mind it’s self explanatory what you mean. If they ask how that happened, that’s when you respond: “turns out soup is hot and wet.”

“Honey” is clearly a code name, he’s complicit!

You think Harvard teaches about the size of their own curriculum, or would the answer to that ironically be in the book on the right?

I make all my fire at home, unrelated: I’m look for a place to stay

It’s density, so it’s calories per volume. I’d like to believe the volume scale is in 711s, and they accidentally divided by the number 711 too.

I’m just waiting for Bigfoot’s OnlyFans videos directed by Tarantino to finally leak

Keep in mind the mother is unresponsive and we only have what the father has said so far, and he’s currently arrested for animal cruelty… So it’s definitely horrible, but we also have an unreliable narrator and no cause yet.

Gonna be honest, thought it was a weird looking stick figure floating inside a blue orb at first and was so confused (like the women’s restroom sign if the feet were detached)

He can take it, probably can’t keep it. I give it 5 days before the grave robbers get to it all.

Looks like an ancient seven segment display

Is this not what National Treasure was about?

I’m confused, they want people to pay money to watch? But money can be used for drugs and corruption…