Overall I think me being a “weird” person growing up made me feel empathy for everyone since I suffered abuse from people most of my life and people usually exploit that trait for their benefit.
That’s where my other suggestion about cultivating healthy personal boundaries come in. There’s a great story about the Buddha getting buttonholed by the father of one of his students, who harangues the Buddha at length for wasting his son’s time and teaching him a load of philosophical nonsense. The Buddha sits and listens patiently until the father runs out of stream and stops speaking. At which point the Buddha smiles sweetly and says “I’m very sorry, I cannot use your abuse, you may have it back”. The Buddha has no shortage of compassion or empathy, but that doesn’t mean he has to suffer fools gladly ; )
There will always be some people who will try to cast you as a bit player in their dramas, like the father in that story does to Buddha. Sometimes maliciously, more often through lack of self-awareness. That’s what over-identification with ego does to us. But even though they’ll make it seem compulsory, and even make turning down the role awkward or painful, it’s always your choice whether you let them direct you or not. Since we’re trading songs, When You Come Back Home by The Front Lawn seems pretty relevant to this.
As I said in my initial reply, figuring out how to handle this less like a people-pleaser and more like the Buddha in that story is a lifelong journey. But the better you get at it, the less attractive you are to narcissists and other Cluster B personalities, and the more likely you are to attract people with healthy boundaries and respect for yours. So it does get easier over time, even if it can seem a little lonely at first.
Learn to read long form, it’s a good workout for the muscle between your ears ; }