I came across this article from 2018 and it really spoke to me as a late-diagnosed autistic only just learning what “comfortable” feels like.

  • Haui
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    1 year ago

    Glad you find it helpful.

    Expanding on the partnership thing:

    I initially played with the idea of taking on partners but after some discussions with people I met over time I decided to change my approach.

    So I designed the company in a way that makes my personal limits less of a problem. For instance, I coded a custom crm from the ground up. That was because I couldn’t afford a secretary at the time and I made the necessary paperwork come out in one click instead of filling out templates all the time. I also integrated basic bookkeeping so I don’t need to buy and learn more proprietary software. There are a lot of other functions I automated and put in.

    So, after avoiding partners initially, I took on someone who used to be a successful employee of mine before. Long story short, they found a flaw in our contracts and took off with like 50k $ and caused roughly a quarter million in damages in the process, not counting me burning out due to the stress.

    And in the 10 years of being an entrepreneur, I‘ve heard a vast majority of peers tell me similar stories. The issue is trust. If you are able to not really trust someone you are around all day, that might help but I surely cant. And I think it also hinders progress. Imho, the most successful partnerships happen because people are either equally naive or equally antitrust. The chance of meeting a match is even less likely and infinitely more dangerous than finding your soulmate.

    For that reason, I won’t ever search for partners. I either do consulting, being paid for it or employ/contract people who get paid for their work and not having any say in the company itself.

    Let me know if you have any more questions. :)

    • trafguy@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      So I designed the company in a way that makes my personal limits less of a problem…

      Interesting. It sounds to me like you used your strengths to streamline your process such that your limits don’t come up as much. By working towards solutions that accommodated your limits, you built software that would make life easier for anyone (provided they can figure out the software). The same approach would probably work well for me.

      they found a flaw in our contracts and took off with like 50k [+250k in damages]

      Ah, that would make me hesitant to take on partners too. I’ve had some small setbacks from trusting people, but never quite that much (granted, I’ve never had that much to lose). Sucks you had that happen. Crazy that it was a previously reliable employee who turned on you like that too.

      I don’t know that I would be able to work with partners I couldn’t trust. Even if I could keep them at arms length and remain suspicious, the added effort of having to handle that on top of everything else wouldn’t be worth it, not to mention there would be too high of a chance they’d eventually stab me in the back. If it’s a choice between working with someone I can’t trust or trying to go at it alone, working alone is definitely a better choice. I agree with you there. I’ll keep that in mind as I continue working on this problem. If I do look for a business partner, I’d be looking for someone who comes across as unflinchingly transparent, and whose transparency reveals strong integrity and a collaborative spirit.

      • Haui
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        1 year ago

        You lost me at collaborative spirit. I‘m not into big words to be honest but otherwise you nailed it imo.

        I‘d say: do it alone as long as you can and then get people to work for you, not with you. They have clear areas of expertise and definitive borders. Make it a sport to find new responsibilities for them and be incredibly fair but don’t let anyone else take the wheel, trust me.

        I think those of us (autists) who are able to work at that level are rather gifted and we still struggle with social clues. Even if you have what it takes to run a company, you probably wont see it coming if someone betrays you.

        We are the perfect victim to exploitation. I have been exploited a lot in my life (i do have a history of abuse as a child as well). Most people don’t even know that much about themselves.

        But I digress. Let me know if you have any more questions.